As I’m writing this on Sunday, I’m looking forward to visiting my brother and his family. For the past two weeks, we’ve all been anxious about his daughter, one of my favorite people in the world (seriously; I dedicated my last book to her), who’s been sick with COVID-9 symptoms: fever, cough, body aches, shortness of breath, and exhaustion. The hospitals, bracing for life-and-death cases, didn’t want her to come in. Yesterday, my mom told me that her fever had lessened, and I was overjoyed. I’m hopeful that she’s on her way to a full recovery soon. Author’s note: after I wrote this, her fever went back up again, but I’m still hopeful!
Obviously, we’re not visiting in person, but over Skype. I’ve been doing my full-time job from home since March 13, and my husband and I have been practicing social distancing. It’s been a big change for my husband and I, who have never been homebodies. On nights and weekends, the greater Los Angeles area is usually our playground. That doesn’t bother me, though…I just want my niece to get better.
But there’s one aspect of quarantine life I didn’t expect. I’ve been hanging out and talking to people a lot more.
Last Thursday, I had a Zoom happy hour with one of my coworkers, a newer friend I’ve only been out with a few times. We planned to make it a weekly thing. On Friday, Mr. Donovan and I chatted with maybe 30? Donovans (he has a big family) across the country. It had been a long while since we’d all gotten together, and while it was chaotic to do so over Zoom, it was also wonderful. And on Saturday night, I had another Zoom happy hour with my two best friends in Kansas City (but that’s more of a common occurrence for us, pandemic or no.)
At work, my boss has been sending out a “good morning” email to all his direct reports, and people “reply all,” some sharing bitmojis or fun links. He’s also having a weekly Zoom staff with us all. Because most of the people on his team don’t work on publishing, I don’t work closely with a lot of them, so surprisingly, it’s made me feel more connected.
Since we can’t pop into each other’s offices, the three other women who work the most on publishing and me have started using Slack. It had been a few years since I’d used Slack at work—I had a strange situation a few years back where an I/T guy used it to try to hit on me, and didn’t see “no” and “I’m married” as reasons to stop—but Slack has actually been a great way to joke and chat.
Meetings with business partners take on a new tone as we see each other’s homes, with their movie posters, musical instruments, and exercise bikes, or express ourselves with silly Zoom backgrounds. We’re all just a little more human. Small children and pets make occasional brief appearances, adding some much-needed levity.
So many of us are using humor and frivolousness to cope with the anxiety and grief of the pandemic. My Facebook feed suddenly looks like 2007 to me, with fewer people sharing political posts and more people partaking in silly lists of questions. Even when I’m heartbroken by the news and anxious about my family, I text fun gifs to people.
It’s such a strange feeling to be isolated and feel a greater sense of connection. Of course, uncertain times always make you feel more grateful for the people in your life. I can only imagine how sad and lonely I’d feel if I couldn’t connect so easily…and if I lived alone, it would even be worse! (If you do know someone who lives alone, be sure to do long-distance check-ins.)
There’s been a lot of talk on social media about how this is a great chance to achieve one’s goals, since one has more time…and perhaps an even bigger backlash from people who feel this kind of talk is trivializing, depressing, or both. Personally, I don’t have that much more time in a day, though I do fall a little in the former camp; focusing on productivity and goals is a coping mechanism to me in times of crisis, although because I have workaholic tendencies, I have to be careful to not overdo it.
I think in the end, the most important thing we can do is stay in touch with the people around us, and I’m so grateful that there are so many ways to connect.
Love the Zoom backgrounds. ? You are not alone, I am feeling much more connected with friends and family. Glad your niece is getting past the virus. Warm wishes to you and your family.
Hi Jo, I’m sorry it took a few days to respond! I’ve been working 16-hour days these past few days—crunch time at work. Thank you so much for the good wishes! I really appreciate it!
It’s so interesting you should write about this. I’ve also scheduled Zoom chats with family and friends I’d lost touch with, but the strangest thing to come out of my social distancing is I finally bonded with my “new” dog. I just wrote about it on my blog.
I love the Zoom backgrounds! Do you have to have a green screen to get that effect?
I’m so sorry to be responding so late. All I’ve done this week is work and sleep!! Aww, this is really the perfect time to bond with a new-ish dog. I love it. <3
You don't need a green screen for those! It's really easy. The private jet is my fave, though. 😀
I meant to reply in my previous comment I’m glad that your niece is doing better!
As for the Zoom images, I guess I haven’t found the right one yet–mine always look distorted, as though I’m a cyborg or something. (Though it may have something to do with the age of my computer). 🙂
Hi! I really hope your niece gets better. It is so sad and painful when a member of our family falls ill, and we cannot even visit him.
I also miss being with my friends and with the people I care about, even though I am not particularly communicative. I think that this forced distance made me realize how important people are in my life.
(P.S: I am sorry if I wrote something wrong. I am Portuguese and the English is still a new for me)
I’m so glad you and Mr. Donovan are doing well. Sending positive wishes for your niece.
Thanks, Savannah! I know you are busy and I hope you’re hanging in there. Sorry for the late reply. It has been a WEEK.
I love your positive take on things!
Grandpa, over Hangouts, got to coach our ten-year-old grandson on the fine art of playing chess. His dad is working from home and was frustrated about playing chess with a son who had to constantly learn his Dad’s next move in order to play.
Grandpa reminded Dad, “Let the Wookie win.”
So Grandpa used his skills to coach the youngster and led them to a successful and satisfying stalemate. Dad acknowledged Grandpa’s skills when he told his son, “We both won.” 😉
Jessie, oh my goodness. I love that. And “we both won” reminded me! When Mr. Donovan and I were first dating, we took a trip to Los Angeles (not knowing we’d live there someday!) and one morning we were playing gin rummy at the Sidewalk Cafe at Venice Beach. I told the server I won and he said “Looks like you both won ;)” I miss going to Venice now that we are in quarantine! I bet your grandson will remember those chess lessons forever.
These are strange times right now. I only use FB right now but have noticed an upsurge of positive posts–people coming together to try to lift each other’s spirits. To be honest though, I have hidden most those who post negativity and actually deleted a few by now. I’m glad you are doing well and thank you for your posts. My daughter was talking about Zoom but I haven’t ventured there yet. Maybe one of these days. Have a great day!
(Sorry for responding so late, Cheryl. It’s been a crazy week!) It’s nice seeing the positivity on Facebook! But I’m like you—I’ve hidden or deleted a lot of people who always share negativity. I bet you’ll like Zoom if you try it! Stay safe!
The instructors in my data science class had a lot of fun with their Zoom backgrounds.
On graduating two weeks ago I had two clients lined up for freelance work, with the intent on using it to bootstrap a consultancy on. Unfortunately, one of those clients has almost no cash flow right now (due to the Corona virus’ effect on the economy) and I’m guessing my other client is in the same boat. So I’m refocusing on building a product and developing other skills, along with taking my creative works much more seriously.
As I’m a night owl, I’m beginning on a new fitness routine at midnight tonight, and actual work begins in earnest for me at 1am tonight. And for a change I’m actually looking forward to it all.
I also get to merge my data science, software development, design, and creative skills on something that hopefully I can sell in 9 months. I’ve also gotten a lot of free or cheap resources on a website I signed up for that’s geared to people starting new companies.
Some of the best companies in history have been started during recessions or depressions. Hopefully I too can be successful. If anyone is looking for a good book on the future of remote work, the book Remote by the founders of a company called Basecamp (that itself is organized remotely) is a good read.
Keep up that enthusiasm, Chris. It’s sure to take you far. It’s great that you have so many resources. Sending you success in your endeavors.
Thanks Jessie!
Wait, did you work out at 1 a.m.?? (Sorry for the late reply, by the way—I basically had 2 all-nighters this week; it was brutal!) I’m going to do a BeachBody workout tomorrow…it’s been a long time since I’ve done ANY exercising, and I’m looking forward to it!
Congratulations on graduating! I’ve heard that about companies starting in depressions and recessions. That book sounds really good—thanks for the rec!
Actually I did (in fact, it was about 2am if I remember right, on the stationary bike, while I watched an episode of the Mandalorian series on Disney+). I’ve always loved being up early in the morning (or late into the night, depending on how you look at it) when no one is around to bug or distract me. I really need to get back into the fitness routine. Thanks and best wishes for the speedy recovery of your niece.
I love reading your posts..The good news is that for the first time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing or anything we want to do at any given time. The best part is that we can do nothing or anything in our jammies. I’ve also discovered that I completely enjoy my own company so this quarantine thing really hasn’t bothered me too much. Stay safe and take good care of yourself.
Jan, sorry for the late response—I worked such long hours this week! It is amazing that we can save people by staying indoors. I find it difficult, but at the same time, I know we are very spoiled to have a comfortable and safe home, plenty to eat, WiFi, plenty of books…we can’t really complain! You stay safe yourself!