On the morning of June 25, 2014, I had an early morning surgery at Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. The surgeon took out my left kidney and put it in a container that looked like a beer cooler. It was sent to the greater San Diego area and put in a man who was suffering from late-stage kidney disease.
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Why am I writing about it now? Because lots of people have questions about the requirements for being a kidney donor and the health risks of kidney donation surgery. I remember when I was first looking into qualifications for kidney donors and the potential side effects, I had trouble finding any living donor blogs or first-person accounts. They would’ve helped me when I was trying to figure out how to register to become a living donor, and how safe or dangerous it was.
I usually blog about writing and positivity, not medical procedures. If you’re a regular reader of the blog, this may not be of interest to you. I’ll be back to my regular scheduling shortly! But I hope sharing my experience will help others who are considering it.
Where It Started: The National Kidney Registry
I’d gotten interested in donating a kidney after reading about the dire need for donors. Every year, thousands die while on the waiting list for a kidney transplant, and thousands more become too sick to receive one. For me, it was a logical decision.
The National Kidney Registry is a wonderful organization that pairs altruistic donors with people who need a kidney. They even set up “donor chains.” Let’s say someone needs a kidney, and they have a partner or family member who’s willing to donate, but they’re not a match. That person pledges to donate to someone else—”pay it forward”—if the person they care about gets a kidney. My kidney donation set off a string of seven donations in total.
I filled out a form on the National Kidney Registry site indicating my interest, and then I got a call from one of their employees. He made sure I didn’t want to donate my kidney for money (which isn’t legal in the United States) and also made sure I was in my right mind.
I researched the risks to living donors. Honestly, there needs to be more research done on the long-term effects on donors, but it isn’t likely to shorten your life span. I believe it’s much less dangerous than people think (which is why I see it more as a cool thing to do than a heroic thing to do.)
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The Kidney Donation Process
I had many, many medical tests, not paid for by me, to make sure I met the health requirements for a living donor in their program. Donors can’t have any risk factors, and sometimes there’s a reason why even a fairly healthy person isn’t a good candidate for donating.
Once I was accepted as a healthy donor, they looked for a match for me. When a match looks good on paper, they have to look at the blood on a cellular level to make sure the donor and recipient are compatible. The National Kidney Registry would sent me kits of test tubes, I would get blood drawn to fill them, and I’d send them to various labs across the country. For a while, FedExing my blood was like a boring and morbid hobby.
When they found a match for me, they scheduled the surgery and the other surgeries in the chain. At that time, there wasn’t a hospital in Kansas City participating in the program for altruistic kidney donors, so we traveled to St. Louis. Mr. Donovan was extremely nervous, but he supported me.
While we were on the road, my coordinator called me to say that the surgery might be cancelled. A recipient of a renal transplant from a stranger needs to have a certain level of health, so that the doctors feel confident that the recipient will make a good recovery. I was so worried for the man and his family. At around ten p.m., I got another call saying they’d tested him again and his numbers had met the requirements. The surgery was a go.
Right up until the time I went into my surgery, I could’ve changed my mind—which they told me more than once. But I was excited to do it.
Recovery From Surgery
The man who got my kidney felt better immediately. He was up and walking the halls before I was. I went home three days after the operation.
To be honest, in the first week, I was in a lot of pain. For some reason, I didn’t realize right away that it was okay to ask my doctor for a higher dosage of pain medication. When I finally did get on a higher dosage, I felt fine. After the second week, the pain was mild enough that I didn’t need to take anything for it.
My donation coordinator sent me a big packet of letters from the man who got my kidney. He had a large family of children and grandchildren. She’d included a note: “Get out the tissues.” I thought, “Oh, that’s sweet, but I’m not going to cry.” And then I read them and cried like a baby. His daughter talked about how now, he would be able to see her graduate. His grandchild said that now, he could walk with her again on the beach. Up until that moment, I hadn’t really considered how many lives were affected by a kidney donation.
By week three, I started working at home, and four weeks after the surgery, I went back to the office full-time. I felt a little tired after work for the first week or two, and six weeks after the operation, I felt 100% back to normal.
Long-Term Side Effects of Donating a Kidney
Obviously, I can only speak about my own experience, but donating a kidney was completely positive for me. I’ve had no physical complications from the donation: no pain, no weight gain, no fatigue. Higher blood pressure is one of the possible risks of being a kidney donor, but my blood pressure is still normal and hasn’t gone up at all.
I try to drink a lot of water because it’s good for my remaining kidney. I was planning on getting a cool tattoo to cover the scar, but my surgery was laparoscopic and the scar is barely visible—you have to look really hard. If I were walking around in a bikini on a beach, no one would see it.
Donating a kidney has had one lasting side effect, though: it’s had a positive impact on my mental health. Any time I think about the experience, I feel happy about it all over again. Along with marrying my husband, it was one of the best decisions of my life.
Do you have questions about being a kidney donor? Or any personal stories to share? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading, and have a great week!
Thank you for writing this. So many people have misconceptions and hangups about donation, both as a living donor and after death. ❤️
Hi, J.V.! That is really true. Thanks for commenting!
What an incredible, selfless thing to do for someone. You’re amazing & thanks for sharing this. ?
Aw, thanks Rosemary. Thanks for reading, and for the kind words! Hope you’re having a great week.
This is amazing and those letters…
Aren’t the letters something? I got so many—he had a big family!
You are truly amazing!
Eh, not really 😀 But thanks for the the kind words!
Wow. You blow me away. Saving a life is always a big deal and self-sacrifice, as well.
You’re amazing. Let us tell you that ?
Aw thanks Bryan, but it really wasn’t much sacrifice! The National Kidney Registry does incredible work. They make it pretty easy for a donor. 🙂 Hope you’re having a good week!
Thanks, Bryn, I have a friend who’s up in Stanford this very minute waiting for her lung transplant. Blessings, yk miyazaki
I’m sending your friend good wishes! I hope all goes well!
Well done. You will be in lots of prayers.
Aww thank, JA! I appreciate that. 🙂
16 years ago I donated a kidney to my husband (2003). We had met online in 2000, married in 2002 when we were both 50 and then came the transplant in June 2003. Bill had polycystic kidneys and by 2001 he needed to go on dialysis. Yes dialysis saves life, but it is not a quality life. Dialysis 3 times a week, for 4+ hours – and he never missed a day of work for a year and a half.
I had a more invasive surgery as they had to take my right kidney, so recovery was a bit longer but I really can’t say i have had any bad effects.
Bill’s newer kidney is still working although he now likes more of what I like!
You are always protected when you go through the process to donate – they will stop the procedure even up to the same day if there is any hint of a problem.
I would do it again – my husband’s quality of life improved drastically.
Thanks for sharing your story
Bev! It’s so nice to see you 🙂 What a beautiful part of your love story! I’ve heard taking the right one is more of an ordeal.
I’m so glad you wrote that about dialysis. That was the other thing that convinced me to donate. I’d read about the waiting list…and the very next day, I stumbled across the online diary of a young man on dialysis and realized how difficult it was.
I actually never imagined it could be possible to keep a full-time job while on dialysis. That was some incredible strength and fortitude. I have so much respect.
Thank you for sharing your story! That is so amazing.
This might be a little hard for the reader, but this is why it is so vitally important. My wife suffered kidney failure; she suffered from congestive heart failure for a very long time and was on the heart transplant list for a number of years, until her health improved somewhat. Later she developed diabetes which I believe led to her kidney failure. After she passed I came to realize the precipitating cause was Preeclampsia with our last child. Living with kidney failure is hard, Several operations to establish ports, hemodialyses 3 times a week, about 4 hours each time, including setup and travel. Later she had a tube placed into her belly to do peritoneal dialysis at home,12 hr a night every night, plus a lot of medications for stuff the dialysis did not handle. Eventually she got peritonitis and almost died. she had to go back on hemodialysis. The hardest part was her long deterioration in health. I did not really see the decline until she died in my arms.
Here is why i give you-all this history: living with kidney failure is just a slowing down of the dying process. There were too many patients at the dialysis center who became friends and too many of them died over the few short years.
Giving a kidney is to give life. My wife was not a candidate to receive one, but thank you most solemnly and to everyone else who gives.
Thank you
Donald Knowlton
Oh, Donald…we’ve known each other for a while, but I didn’t know about this. It made me cry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you both went through that. I am sure the biggest comfort to her was having a good man like you by her side. I’m glad you shared your story. For anyone who is considering donating, it really helps to understand the realities of living with kidney failure and what a different that gift can make. Bless you.
Thank you
Thank you Bryn for sharing this. I’m sure it will reach many people and make a difference in many lives. My son-in-law donated a kidney to his cousin because his cousin had genetic problems. I honor him and you for your sacrifices. I cried when I read the thank you notes you posted.
I love it that you give us glimpses into your life.
Jessie, your son-in-law is awesome. I love it. Haha, I cried *again* when I looked at all those letters today! It was really an honor to be able to help. Thanks so much for the kind words. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story…You are a remarkable woman. A good friend told me this a long time ago. When I reflected I though of you…”If you live your life true to yourself and not the way others expect you to, you will live your life happy. And regrets will be few….You will have NO REGRETS…You are a wonderful, generous, caring human being. My hat is off to you….
Thanks for sharing this. In the UK we have a similar programme for kidney donors, but not enough volunteers. I tried to volunteer but unfortunately my kidney function wasn’t high enough to proceed.
What came across, both in your post and in my own experience, is the incredible care and attention the medics take of you as a donor, both physically and emotionally, making absolutely sure that this is something you really want to do, and that it is safe for you to proceed.
Congratulations, not just for giving back life to the one patient who received your kidney, but also for the other six in the chain who wouldn’t have got their lives back without your donation.
Hi, Ariel! Bless you for looking into being a volunteer. It’s true that even very healthy people can’t donate sometimes, just for the reasons you said: they are so careful about making sure it will be safe for the donor. Thanks so much for commenting!