I am just finishing up reading tons of query letters from an open submission period at work. While there’s no one formula for how to write the perfect query letter, there are a few things you can do to stand out in a good way.
The whole querying process is, frankly, brutal. For authors, it’s so hard to make that connection—to find the agent or editor who’s looking for their kind of thing. A rejection can feel like someone’s downvoting your talent, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.
One draft of one project doesn’t represent your full potential. Even if it did, agents and editors reject good books all the time because they don’t fit their current needs. (I probably do this about ten times more often than the average editor, because my company’s needs are so hyperspecific.) And sometimes, agents and editors are just plain wrong.
They get a huge volume of submissions, and it’s hard for authors to stand out. I wanted to share three hacks that can work to an author’s advantage. Even if you’re not querying right now, you might want to pin or bookmark this for future use!
1. Make Your Subject Line Work For You
Your query email may be in a queue of hundreds of query emails, and chances are, many of them have subject lines like “submission,” “fantasy novel submission,” and so on. You have an opportunity to stand out and get an editor or agent’s attention right here.
No, I’m not recommending a subject line like “BEST BOOK EVER!! READ IT NOW!!” Here’s what I recommend:
(TITLE), (optional: author name), (word count), (optional: adjective or qualifier), (genre)
Here are some examples.
SISTER SHADE, 82K Twisty Upmarket Suspense
THE WEDDING GIFT, Zara Patel, 76K Romantic Comedy
THE PARIS AERONAUT, 91K Lyrical Historical Fiction
IMPLOSION, Matthew Morris, 94K Action-Driven Scifi
I recommend not making the subject line too long, because you don’t want it to get cut off. I believe Outlook shows 54 characters (including spaces) in a subject line, and gmail is 70.
Right away, a subject line like this tells someone your submission is the length and the genre they’re looking for. The title (and the adjective, if you’ve included one) piques an agent’s or editor’s curiosity. Overall, a good subject line makes you look professional.
2. Make a Personal Connection
This one has two parts.
a. Get the salutation right.
I sometimes get query letters from authors—and from agents, who should know better—addressed as “Dear Sirs.” I don’t know if it’s weirder to be misgendered or to be multiplied. You don’t want to start a query letter in this way because most people who work in publishing are women.
As Dale Carnegie wisely pointed out all those years ago, people love hearing their own name. Addressing your query to the correct, specific person is the best way to go. (But if you’ve tried, and you absolutely cannot figure out who that person is, “Dear Editor” is fine.)
b. Show you know them.
“I heard you speak at (writing conference name here.)”
“I like the books you publish. I just finished (title of one of their books here) and enjoyed it so much.”
“I enjoyed your interview with (blog or website name here.)”
“You represent two of my favorite authors, (author name) and (author name.)”
“I enjoy following you on Twitter.”
This makes you look like you’re invested in the book publishing business, you’ll be nice to work with, and you’ll be good partner in promoting a book.
3. Give Them a Logline
An agent wants a book they can sell to a publisher. An editor often wants a book they can sell at their acquisition meeting. A publisher wants a book they can sell to retail channels, libraries, and readers.
An intriguing logline (or tag line, if you prefer) shows them exactly how to make that case. It’s a one- or two-sentence summary that conveys a little about what the book is about and what the conflict is. It makes people think, “Well, I want to see how that plays out.”
Coming up with a great logline is hard. You can check out my list of 100 logline examples for movies and books for inspiration! You may have to try out several of them and bounce them off your friends. But if you take the time to do it, it can be a fantastic opener to a query letter, and it can make all the difference. In fact, if you’re starting a new project, I recommend doing this first.
Bonus Tip: How to Nudge an Agent or Editor
Let’s say you turn in a polished manuscript, a painstaking synopsis, and a sharp query letter…and you don’t hear back. What do you do?
Well, if it’s only been five weeks or so, or if the query was to an agent or editor who’s made it clear they don’t send rejections, the answer is “nothing.” But I would say if it’s been ten or twelve weeks, it’s fine to send a follow-up email.
Here’s how NOT to do it:
“I submitted twelve weeks ago and I’ve heard nothing. I mean…NOTHING. When can I expect an answer??”
You may be frustrated, but conveying that won’t help you reach your goals. Here’s how you nudge an agent or editor (assuming you are submitting to an email inbox and not via Submittable):
Forward your original email to them, and re-attach your manuscript and synopsis if necessary.
Write something along the lines of, “Hello! I hope everything’s going well with you. I haven’t heard back on this one yet, and I know how busy you must be, so I’m bringing it to the top of your inbox. I’d still love to work with you! I hope I hear from you soon.”
In business, “bringing this to the top of your inbox” is a useful phrase for unanswered emails in general. It’s friendly and suggests you understand the recipient gets a whole lot of emails.
If you’re querying, what’s the process like for you? Do you have any tips to share? Or do you have any questions? Let us know in the comments!
And if you can use more writing resources and inspiration, be sure to follow the blog, if you’re not doing so already—there’s a place below to sign up. Thanks for reading, and happy writing!
Well, I am no longer querying because (drum roll, please) I signed with an agent for my oracle novel! I am now represented by Zabe Ellor at the Jennifer DeChiara Literary Agency. I’m so excited!
One querying tip I would give, because I didn’t know this, is if you get an offer, you can nudge everyone who still has your query. I didn’t have any fulls out when I got my offer, but when I nudged people, I got two full requests and one of them turned into a second offer! And I would also say do your research. Get an account with the Absolute Write Water Cooler and read up on the agents you’re querying, because there are some scammers out there.
Happy writing!
That’s fantastic news Kimberly! Yay for you!
Congratulations, Kimberly!!! That’s such awesome news, and thanks for the added tips. I hope I’m in your shoes one day. 🙂
Congratulations Kimberly! And thanks for the heads up!
AHHHHHH! Kimberly, I knew it wasn’t going to be long! Congratulations. Can I talk about it in the next WIP Wednesday??
GOOD POINT about offers. Honestly, NOTHING gets an agent’s or editor’s attention like saying you have another offer. I agree about doing one’s homework, too, when it comes to agents.
So exciting!
Sure thing!
These tips are so helpful and practical. Thank you.
Aw thank you! I’m so glad you liked them. Thanks for reading!
Things I love about your blog, Bryn: You write things in the most easily understood terms, you are an optimist, and you always show respect.
I have never had success with query letters, but this makes me feel that it is not an impossible undertaking. Thank you. You have given me hope.
How do I get my photo to post with my comments? So far I haven’t been able to enter my website address on the info you ask for. It asks for a URL and won’t take the one I give. Thank you so much.
Hi, Jessie! Thank you so much for the kind words.
Gosh, it’s been so long that I can’t remember how to get a pic to show up. And I’m sorry WP is not accepting your website! I’ll try to figure out what’s going on!
Thank you so much! Thanks again!
Between bouts of insomnia and depression (the likes of which I haven’t had for almost ten years) these last few weeks, I keep asking myself why I’m even bothering with the query process (“Just self-publish…no one wants to read your story anyway,” says the evil voice in my head). I’m questioning every aspect of everything: Am I creating a good “bonding opening”? Does my story sound grown-up enough to be classed as “Adult” when it sits pretty firmly in the “New Adult” category and most agents don’t recognize NA yet? I know the word count isn’t ideal, but that’s where the story sits…so I accept I’ll get rejection based on that. I’ve gotten 5 rejections so far, but I’ve got a couple queries still outstanding. Oh, and I made the most STUPID mistake last week–I meant to save a query as a draft because we were having power-outages, and instead I hit the “Send” button when the letter wasn’t finished. At least it was addressed to the right person (Dear Ms. Grimaldi); the ending, however, left something to be desired: “Thank you for your time and consideration, and I hope.”
Yep…that’s about right:
“I hope.” LOL
If this process doesn’t kill me, it’ll definitely make me a stronger person. 🙂
Do you think, Lisa, that we can possibly view ourselves as we view our characters? I’ve been asking myself if I can we see myself with inner and outer goals and go through the process of character development? Can I allow myself to go through the process of change in the same way that I so carefully craft my characters? Can I see plot twists in my own life as defining moments rather than failures? Thanks for giving me an opportunity to explore my wondering with you.
Jessie, that’s pretty brilliant. I find that I feel a lot better sometimes if I see myself as a character. What’s a character without flaws and struggles, after all? 🙂
This is an interesting way to view oneself and the process, Jessie. In my stronger, objective moments, I can get behind the idea of being the hero in my own life-story. Despite setbacks, I forge ahead. I keep putting myself out there because I understand and agree with the whole “no risk, no reward” thing. I’m working on toughening up that hide, too, because it’s not just agents who hit you with bad news…it’ll be critiques and reviews if the book gets published. I suppose it’s not the setbacks–it’s our reactions to them that ultimately determine the outcomes of our stories. I think the worst thing about the querying process is feeling like I’m fumbling around a pitch-black room, looking for a key to open a door, and I have no idea what the key actually looks like or which door (of hundreds) it may fit. I don’t know if it’s my query letter, my book, my book premise, something else… All I can do is follow the tips, use my best guesses and common sense, and keep racking up those rejections while searching for the agent who fits. Sorry…I slipped into some tangent there, I think…lol
Lisa! Thanks so much for your honesty. I’ve been there. Perhaps I am there. One thing I learned 30+ years ago when I started sending out queries. I need to take care of myself through the process. I would send a query and the first so-many pages, (In the olden days no internet or email) get a rejection, write a thank you note, immediately send the next query and so-many pages, but I never processed the rejection and it literally nearly destroyed me. Teeth gritting and tough skin didn’t serve me. I had to see myself differently. I had to find an inner place of peace. I had to find a way to believe in myself and what I have to say and know that it is important. My voice matters. My story comes from an identity beyond performances. You see, I am again getting ready to send out that book I wrote 30+ years ago, much revised because I have learned a lot since I wrote it. (many classes, courses and books I’ve written but haven’t published yet) I guess I had to claim my power back. And then I realized that publishers and agents never had my power in the first place — only what power I gave away.
So I guess my message is, take care of yourself. Believe in yourself.
With love, from Grandma Jessie
Processing the rejection!!! So true!!!
My husband counselled me on exactly this topic last week after I received my last rejection. I rather flippantly brushed off the email, and he told me that sort of reaction would eventually eat me up inside. His advice was to understand the rejection, feel it, process it, mourn it, and then put it away and keep moving forward. He also said the same thing about giving others my power…reminded me that they’re just people, and the rejection has no bearing on my worth as a person or even on my book as a whole (after all, they’ve not even read the full manuscript!). I love him to bits — he’s kind of the Hades to my Persephone since he’s 13 years older than me). I accept his advice, but it’s always good to hear the same thing from an outside source. I’ve gone through and read vast sequences of my manuscript again; there’s nothing wrong with it…I’m even enjoying it again. I always find it hard to send out queries when I’v lost faith in what I’ve written — or myself. Thank you for your kind words, Grandma Jessie…I truly appreciate the wisdom. Many hugs, Lisa 🙂
You’ve got a good man, Lisa. It’s amazing that you got the same message from two sources. Glad I could be one of them. 🙂
Lisa, oof, I am sorry you are dealing with insomnia and depression. I hope you take good care of yourself.
Listen, lots of people have glitches with publishing. One time I sent an editor a query letter with the title of my own book spelled wrong! I sometimes make mistakes in responding, too, and I assume others do as well.
As you know, I’ve both trad published and self-published. Self-publishing doesn’t mean no one will read your work! They both have pros and cons. I hope you have great success with the story.
Thanks for kind words, Bryn. I fell off the horse…I think I’m back on the horse now. It’s one feisty Arabian, this querying process, but I’m certainly learning lots about it and myself.
The query process is probably the most terrifying part of the publishing process for me. It’s the reason I keep going back and forth between going the traditional publishing route and doing it myself. These tips make it sound like gaining an agent or a contract are actually possible. Thank you.
Querying is so tough. But of course, self-pubbing is tough, too. It’s a lot of work, but getting a contract is absolutely possible. 🙂
Hi Bryn, Thanks for the great insider tips! I haven’t started the querying process yet, but I am keeping this article for a reference for when I do. Cheers, Naomi.
Hi, Naomi! Thanks for reading, and for the kind words! Good luck with your projects!
Hi! Thanks for this information!!! I’m grateful 🙂 that I overall I seem to be doing all of these things. I personally worry more about following up on a query than I do the actual query because I hate bothering anyone in the publishing industry. I know everyone is beyond busy and I don’t want to seem like I’m bugging. The overall query writing (body of summary and hook line) is the hardest to write for me, but hopefully I’m getting better at it. Thanks again, I’ll be saving this information to double check before hitting send!!
Hey there! I think query letters are tough because you know your own story so well, and you have to simplify so much. 🙂 It’s more than fair to follow up when it’s been a long time. Sometimes an agent or editor might think, “Oh, geez, is this writer still even interested/available?” So it’s good to let them know you still are!
Test for website addition.
oops. This is the test. No. Still won’t take my url
Sorry about that, Jessie! Unfortunately, it’s not something I can adjust on my end. I don’t know what the problem is. 🙁 Hey, if you want your picture to show up, I *think* you can make it happen by signing up with Gravatar: http://en.gravatar.com/
Thank you! Now I want to query! Something! Bryn- did you have fun reading all the queries?
Hello Bryn, Thank you for the above information on inquiring about manuscript status. Would the 10-12 week time-frame also apply if the publisher says to allow 6-8 weeks for a response and after the 8 weeks, I still haven’t heard back? Sent to Forever Yours Publishing on August 1st so it’s been just over 8 weeks, and all I’ve received is an auto-reply that they received it. Also, Do you think I can use the same email address where I forwarded it originally or will that get lost among new submissions? I can’t find any other email address on their site. Thank you in advance for your advice! Wendy Frye