The other week when I was writing about 5 Ways to Restart a Bad Day, I talked about the value of taking a break. But oh, my goodness…it is easier said than done.
Let me give you an example.
Last week I took a vacation day. At my company, you accrue vacation days gradually, but I’ve barely been using them. I had 30 days banked and couldn’t accrue any more until I used one or two of them.
Naturally, I planned to spend some of the day working on my blog, but halfway into a post I got kicked off a post and was unable to log on again.
I went to the host’s website and contacted their customer service via live chat. I was in a queue behind five other people, and I wasted time online while I waited for my turn. Forty minutes later, when I was next in line, our internet cut out briefly and I lost my place.
At this point I realized this wasn’t how I wanted to spend my day off. It sounds silly, but it took a lot of effort to set the computer aside.
Mr. Donovan went on a short hike in the hills not far from our apartment. I literally rose above my frustration.
By the time I got back to the apartment, the technical glitch with my blog had apparently worked itself out, and I hadn’t ruined my precious free morning.
The same principle works in relationships, too. Mr. Donovan and I quarrel very rarely, but when we do have a disagreement and it starts to get heated, we take a break. One of us takes a walk, or we both go out for ice cream (vegan gelato, in my case.)
Even with the promise of a delicious frozen treat, it’s not easy. Every instinct tells us to keep digging until we get our point across and prove we’re right. We want the issue resolved for good!
Naturally, an hour later, we realize it’s not even that big of an issue and the other person did have kind of a point. And we’ve gotten to this realization without going through the unnecessary step of talking in circles and sniping at one another.
[AdSense-B]
At work, sometimes it’s best to let a matter sit: to give someone time to look into a problem, for instance, or to give them time to think about a proposal or suggestion.
And in my writing, I’ve found that if I’m stuck, leaving something alone for just a little while and taking a walk can often lead me to a solution.
This week, if you run into any frustrations, think about shifting gears and taking a break. (It may or may not involve ice cream.)
Do you find it hard or easy to drop something for a while? Did this make you think of a time you took a break — and you were glad you did? Let me know in the comments! Happy Labor Day, and have a great week!
Wonderful advice, especially for relationships. Maybe you should pull out that portion, retitle it, and get thousands of new subscribers.
Hahaha! Well, I appreciate the confidence. Maybe sometime I will try that!
HI
I have ADHD.
I tend to really hyperfocus on everything.
Reading. Writing. Crafts. My favorite TV shows.
Playing all my favorite CD’s back to back.
Walking.
Playing with our cats.
You get the idea!
I get really angry when I have to shift gears on anything I am doing. I raised 3 ADHD kids. I had to shift constantly for them. Now that I am a bit older I find hyperfocusing is what I love to do. So when I have to do something else I am mad.
Not so much angry at things, but myself.
I have learned that at that point I must take a break.
And sometimes it takes me awhile to get back to it because I am hyperfocused on something else.
I have decided to go back to making lists.
List all my UFO’s, Un Finished Objects.
And schedule times to work on them.
Breaks are always welcome to me.
I can be too intense, even for myself!
Take care!
Hi Patricia! Yes, that’s exactly my issue, too — I hyperfocus and have trouble shifting gears! I know just what you mean about being too intense. Thanks for commenting!
Vegan gelato…sounds heavenly!! 🙂 (I’ve been vegetarian for over 8 years…currently working on cutting out the dairy…wish I could enjoy a soy coffee more than I do…)
There’s so much wisdom in knowing when to take a break from anything that’s becoming too intense. I tend to be pretty bad at this. My personality is such that I generally want the issue solved and settled before I can step away from it…not the best strategy in some cases because it will often just make the situation worse before it has a hope of getting better. Hitting the pause button…taking a breather…it often gives us a chance to approach the issue with renewed clarity and calm. Bedtime around our place is a classic example — my thirsty, cuddly philosophers all need to go to the toilet as soon as I tuck them in; the 4yr-old is running amok; girls are giggling; oldest is trying to be the boss… This is a moment when I throw my hands in the air and walk away (with my husband laughing in the background because it’s the same story every night). I pet the cat…I chuck a few dishes in the dishwasher. I let the kids have their last burst of energy. By the time I go back, they’re more receptive and I’m less angry. Stepping away can be a major blessing. Often the problem/situation sorts itself out — and if not, taking a breather makes us better equipped to handle whatever is going on.
Lisa, I laughed out loud at “thirsty, cuddly philosophers.” Oh my goodness…bedtime sounds like a huge challenge! I can see where taking a break would really help there. I really struggle with taking a breather, because yeah…once I’m focused on something, I want it fixed. Thanks for commenting!
You are so right. Taking a break is hard, especially for a workaholic like me. That’s why I tend to have a backup project that I can switch to for a bit when I feel stuck on my manuscript (or when I’m waiting for my critique partner). I try to offset this by setting one night a week that I am not allowed to touch anything. When I get home from my back to back yoga classes on Thursday night, it is all about self care. I am not even allowed to open my computer. Implementing that has really been a huge help for me lately.
Erin, you always have such good ideas. The “unplug” night…that is genius and something I’m going to have to think about. Thank you!
This is so timely, as I sit here feeling guilty because I woke up feeling sick and in pain, and it’s 9:30 and I’m still not at work. Why the guilt?! i don’t know. But this post helped me a lot. Thank you. <3
Guilty because you’re sick?! Honey! I hope you’re feeling better. I MISS YOU! I think about you all the time. Give your man and your pup a hug for me. 🙂