The other week, I got a letter from an old friend back in Kansas City. He wrote about his relationships, his life, and his musings. It was lovely to sit down and read it. Although I’ll be a little late in replying, I’m going to write him a letter back today and get it in the mail tomorrow.
Now, we’re friends on Facebook. He could’ve sent me a direct message or two, and I could’ve responded in kind. But the great thing about a handwritten letter is the opportunity to go deep. You can share details and thoughts. You can slow down.
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For many years, I made my living as a writer for Hallmark. People sometimes criticize greeting cards for having a standard, “impersonal” message, but of course, that’s missing the point. The message is often a springing-off point for a longer, personal written message of one’s own. And the card can be set on the mantel, or at your desk at work –wherever you want to have a tangible reminder that people care about you.
I’ve been thinking a lot about letters lately because of our recent move to California. We went through all our belongings and pared down drastically.
We kept two very important collections. We’d never part with them.
One was my written correspondence with my grandma, who died last year. From the time I left for college to the weeks before her death, I sent her letters and cards. She sent them to me, too, although they became fewer in the last few years of her life because arthritis and moving to assisted living made it difficult.
I saved dozens and dozens of letters from her over the years. When my parents went through her belongings prior to selling the house, they found a big stash of my letters to her — like me, she’d saved them all. I have many of those letters, too. They reference things I never would’ve remembered otherwise– a few are even from addresses I don’t even recall.
Seeing my grandma’s handwriting, and even the stationery, cards, and stickers my grandma she chose, says so much about her as a person. The cards and letters keep her close to me in spirit.
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The other collection is Mr. Donovan’s, and they’re all letters from me. When I first took a job at Hallmark in Kansas City, he stayed in Tucson for a couple of months finishing up a teaching certification.
I sent him a letter every day. One contained sketches and quick descriptions of the co-workers I’d just met–amazing to see now, because I’ve been friends with some of them for years and years. I wrote about my impressions of Kansas City, how I filled my evenings without him, and how much I missed him.
Nobody enjoys online connecting and texting more than I do. But writing letters is almost a lost art–and I think it’s one worth reviving.
Most of us rarely receive anything meaningful in our mailbox, so a personal card or letter is almost a gift. When it’s saved, it becomes even more valuable.
Do you write people letters? Do you have letters from others stashed away? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading, and have a great week!
INTERESTING BRYN, CHINA
Thanks for stopping by, China!
Hello, your emails that arrive in my mailbox each Monday morning are often the first to be read. I look forward to your insights. Long hand letters are truly gifts, and your thoughts have prompted me to consider writing more, especially to my grand babies. The scene where Jessica Tanny in “Driving Miss Daisy” at her desk writing letters popped in my head as an example of a dedicated letter writer. Thank you for today’s thoughtful post.
Deborah, thank you so much for the kind words! I haven’t seen that movie — that sounds great, though. I am sure your grandbabies would grow up to treasure cards or letters from you!
I agree with your philosophy of the feelings you get of a written letter. I do as well write occasionally and I have letters from both of my parents who are now gone, stashed in a safe place. I believe the world needs to express their feelings more in letters. Thank you for your post. Shaman Snow
Hi Shanna! Those letters from your parents must be wonderful to have around. Thanks so much for reading and for commenting!
I have a stash of letters I got from family and one of my really long time friends. Melinda and I have known each other since we were 10. We haven’t always kept up with each other. We wrote each other handwritten letters in 2016-2017. This past year she went through a divorce and has not written me about it. Although I know about it from social media. I miss getting handwritten letters.
Yeah, there’s just something about handwritten letters@ Thanks for commenting!
Dear Bryn – Wonderfully written post on a subject near and dear to my heart. I know this isn’t sharing day but… I wrote an essay on this topic a couple of years ago: http://pjbraley.com/index.php/hello-world/essays/passages/ .
A romantic forever, I still have the letters my high school crush wrote to me during his first year at college. I keep thinking I should send them to him, but for some reason, I find it hard to let go. Also, my husband’s parents’ letters written during WWII have recently been given to us and I have been considering transcribing them (perhaps there is a story or two there!).
We are the lucky ones.
Hi, PJ! Oh, that is a beautiful piece. Thanks for linking to it!
You have some really interesting letters…
While culling our stuff prior to moving, I found a card I’d sent to my husband before we met in person (because we were “dating” online and over the phone for three and a half months before he flew up from Australia to meet me in real life). This thing was 13 years old at the time, and full of schoolgirl soppiness (I was 23 when we met)…omg, I was embarrassed!! I wondered why I felt weird reading it — I still adore my husband like that; he’s the love of my life. When he caught me reading it, I told him I felt silly. He grabbed the card away from me, pressed it to his heart. He said he was definitely keeping it, along with some trinkets I’d sent him at the time. I’m glad he felt that way. Most of our other correspondence was via email; between us, we exchanged over a thousand emails in the sixteen months before we married. When it came time to prove to Australian Immigration that we had an ongoing relationship, we couldn’t print them all — too many! Thank goodness, too…some of them got pretty racy! 🙂 I think he still has some of them on his computer; I lost them all when my PC died. However, I’d be mortified to go back and read them now if I had them. LOL
Hi, Lisa! Aww, it’s really something to encounter an earlier version of yourself through a letter or a diary. Thanks for commenting!
You are so right about cards. I don’t have a ton of letters, but I do have a lot of cards. I’ve received a few incredibly touching cards over the years. The messages people have written inside them still warm my heart. I keep them in a box and pull them out to read when I’m feeling low. Some of them are from people that are no longer a part of my life, but they still make me feel amazing.
I haven’t sent anyone a handwritten letter for years, but I do have letters from my great uncle saved. He too got to the point where his age and health didn’t allow for written letters anymore, and I treasure the ones he sent me. It has been over twenty years since he passed, but when I read his letters I remember the loving and caring man he was.
Thank you! I’ve been sending my daughters cards for “thinking of you” to brighten their days… One daughter is hundreds of miles away and although we share pics, short notes etc. via FB, I enjoy making her smile … add in a gift certificate helps too. I wish I could handle writing letters more, but fatigue steals a great deal from me… I will savor your emails a little be more now, though…
It’s rewarding to send a handwritten letter to someone. You feel like you have given a bit of yourself. Plus, you know the person receiving it will smile to know it’s real mail! ?
It really is, Kris! It feels good just thinking about it getting there. 🙂 Thanks for commenting!
I love this. I’ve been thinking of late about sending more cards and letters.,I’ve kept a lot of them over the years.,When we downsized a couple of years ago, I had to whittle my collection down to some favorites from my husband, children, grandchildren and other family members. There are still a bunch.
I also have a collection of letters from my son during his four-year stint in the military. He was in 82nd Airborne. A lot of the time I had no Idea where he was going. He would say that we might not hear from him for a while.
My daughter loved to send cards. I have some she gave me for no special reason, just to say she loved and appreciated me. She was killed in an automobile accident at age 20, along with her husband. They were newly weds of three weeks. In their apartment, we found cards she sent him. Beautiful thought of love with her own sweet notes added. I did not have the heart to throw them away.
Cards have always been an important part of my life. I have them from three sisters and a brother who are now deceased. It is nice to see their handwriting and read their words of joy in a life well lived.
I treasure the beautiful cards from my older sister who goes at the beginning of each year to her local Hallmark store in Kansas City, and buys cards for all the birthdays in that year. She takes her list and spends a lot of time choosing the right card for each person. She also stocks up on get well and sympathy cards while she’s there.
Oh, no…I didn’t know you lost your daughter. And she was so young, and just-married…that’s heartbreaking. I am so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was such a sweet soul. I’m so glad you have the cards she sent. And you must’ve been so worried when your son was in the military! How wonderful that you have those letters, too. I love it that your sister does the beginning-of-the-year card run (and of course, Kansas City is Greeting Card Central. 🙂 )
Just so readers don’t make the obvious assumptions anyone could make about letter writers here, I’m a 47y/o guy that has pend literally thousands of letters of all sorts, but mostly, I confess, “Love Letters”. Those probably broke down into 40% Romantic, 40% Agonizingly Slow Sex, and 20% of “What I love soo much about you.” But the subject didn’t really matter, there is just something very cool and intimate about the whole thing. I had friends who were kind of Beat Gen types who were sometimes writing letters when they weren’t plagiarizing the work of others. We didn’t just write the girlfriends, I wrote many friends who were in basic training or overseas, and they mostly wrote back. But the girls were, and still are the best. The girls got the Quill pen, special bond paper, and candle wax drip seal with the family crest stamp all wrapped up with a broken seal string. My best friend was the only one who understood putting that kind of effort into a “Letter” because he also understood that small effort didn’t go into a letter, it went into creating something soo much more. Every girl understood that. And every one of those “Letters” was kept forever, and still exists in the Hope chests, and shoe boxes of our youth. How’s that for a “Cliché”. I don’t know why I care about this, but I’m not the “geeky” type either. I’m sort of a Sam Elliot looking guy who’s actually been told the worse I look, the better I look, that probably explains why the girls were always in my foxhole. So when I say I even wrote a love letter to my dying Shih Tzu that I buried with her, don’t make the mistake of the kindness of writing a letter for being any part of weakness. I even miss writing letters when I’ve been between relationships. Sadly, I’ve never met a woman yet who has had a boyfriend or husband give them a genuine (by their hand, from their heart, and in their words) love letter. So I fear our extinction (the letter writers) lies ahead from the mundane cookie cutter society we’ve become drones of sadness too! Thanks for the walk through the best and original of Sapien things with me. ~S~
Hi, Scott! Ohhh, this is so awesome. I can’t think of a girl who wouldn’t melt to get a love letter. It truly is a rare art and there’s nothing like it. Thanks for reading, and for commenting!