Just in the past few days, I’ve been started a daily healthy habit. It got me thinking about a friend of mine. Whenever I’m pursuing a goal or making a change, she asks me, “How are you going to reward yourself?”
I never have a good answer for her. Usually, I think attaining the goal or making the change will be a reward unto itself — and that’s true!
But I know she’s got neuroscience on her side. The Power of Habit, which is one of the best self-help books I’ve ever read, explains in detail why rewards are so important to behavior modification. The reward releases dopamine in your brain and associates the new behavior with pleasure, so you’ll want to do it again and again.
This reward system can be detrimental, such as when your brain is reminding you how delicious dessert is when you’re trying to cut out sugar. But if you give yourself little rewards for something you want to do — whether it’s a daily writing habit, an exercise habit, or quitting social media or gaming after an hour has passed — you can use your brain’s reward system to your advantage.
I’m not in the habit of rewarding myself. I don’t think many of us are. But I bet even small rewards can be really powerful because of that. And I deserve it…and you definitely deserve it!
Rewards don’t have to be big and expensive: “If I do yoga every morning this week, I’ll treat myself to diamond earrings!” No. Rewards can be cheap, or even free: a bubble bath, for instance, or a fifteen-minute session of watching kittens on Youtube.
You’ve probably heard that it takes three weeks to make or break a habit. I don’t know if that’s true, but I know from experience that making or breaking a habit is harder at first. Then it gets easier, and eventually it’s effortless.
For that reason, as I’m establishing a daily habit, I’m setting up rewards that are more frequent at the beginning. It’s going to go like this:
3rd day – small reward
1 week – small reward
2 weeks – small reward
3 weeks – small reward
1 month – medium-sized reward
2nd month – 5th month – small monthly rewards
6 months – medium-sized reward
7th month – 11 month – small monthly rewards
1 year – big reward!
Do you have experience with rewarding yourself for making or breaking a habit? What rewards have worked for you? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading, and have a great week!
Yay for rewards!!!! Thanks for the reminder about using them. Keep us updated on how your plan is working;)
I wondered if you would see me blogging about you! Hahaha. You always have the best advice! I’ve learned so much from you. <3
Hey Bryn! This is essentially what I do for a living! I work with offenders reentering the community after prison and this is the exact kind of thing I do with my clients: they show improvement in what could be a completely minor area to us (but major to them), and they get rewarded with verbal praise or some kind of tangible prize (maybe a bus pass or a notebook or things like that). Verbal praise is honestly the most underrated, but most important type of reward. So even meeting a minor goal, you could just tell yourself that you did an awesome job meeting it. Or even if you don’t end up meeting a goal, or just meet the goal of just sitting down and at least trying, you can still reward yourself for just doing that small part. I know that’s what can trip myself up; I can get so disappointed with myself for not meeting goals or not even being able to find the inspiration to write, so when I get at least anything, I reward myself with some verbal praise (or maybe some chocolate and wine 🙂
Leah, that’s so awesome! I didn’t know you did that for a living. What great work! I bet it’s challenging but so satisfying — you must know you’re making a difference. That is such a good point about verbal praise being underrated. I try to let people know I appreciate them, at work and in my personal life. But I never thought about it applying to myself as well. I love it. I love what you say about celebrating the efforts and steps in the right direction. Great post!
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I’ve read The Power of Habit — great book! But you’re right: usually, I think of the successful completion of the task as its own reward, rather than trying to reward myself. I do love to make lists, though. And I make goal charts. Perhaps crossing off list items or giving myself ticks on my chart count as my small rewards? I feel great satisfaction in seeing those tick marks.
A problem I have is thinking of ways to reward myself that aren’t food-related (I’m trying to eat better) or purchases (I’m trying to buy less). I agree with Leah, above, that verbal praise is completely under-rated. So I’m thinking just now that I should create a Reward Board — a board to hang on my wall by my desk, where I can post success messages and pictures for myself. Then, anytime I feel discouraged, I can look at the board and be reminded of how far I’ve come, and all the times I’ve been successful. It would be like a tick on my chart, but bigger, better, prettier. Does that sound rewarding enough?
Hi Tamara! That’s a good point about “rewards” that are actually detrimental to your other goals. I love the idea of a Reward Board! That’s brilliant! It’s like a vision board, but celebrating things you’ve already achieved — is that right? I love it! Great idea!
A few years ago I realized that I had fallen out of my workout habit. So I decided in January that I would be able to run a 5K by my birthday in March. If I did, I could have cake at my celebration. And it worked!
What a good idea to tie your goal into your birthday!