Welcome to another WIP Wednesday, where I share an excerpt of what I’m working on, and maybe you do the same in the comments! We’re doing this every week in November in honor of National Novel Writing Month.
If you’re doing NaNo and you’re hustling to make your word count, I’m sending you strength! But you don’t need to be doing NaNo to share some of your work. Just keep it under 500 words, and don’t share any explicit material.
Critiques are unwelcome (however well-meaning), but encouraging words to fellow writers are appreciated. (Some of you are so good about that! You should never feel obligated, because we all have busy days, but I do want you to know I think you’re awesome.)
I’m still writing my super-sweet contemporary romance. My hero works in an investment banking firm where late hours are the rule, but he’s not staying late tonight.
[AdSense-B]
It was five-forty-five, and Dylan needed to slink out of the office without looking like he was slinking. The first half of his route held no danger: the kitchen was on his way, and anyone might believe that he was just on his way for yet another cup of coffee.
Nancy, the admin, intercepted him. “Dylan! Hey, did you see I had to move that ten o’clock with Hartley tomorrow to nine o’clock?”
“Yeah, I saw.” Dylan lied reflexively about having seen emails, a habit that had grown out of the fact that it was literally impossible to read everything in his overflowing inbox. “But thanks for the heads up.” He really did appreciate it. Being late to a meeting with that particular client would’ve been a disaster.
Nancy walked on, and Dylan checked out the route ahead of him. No sign of Ellen, who was waiting on some research from him, or Mark, his boss. Good.
He was almost to the exit when the door to the men’s room opened and Mark emerged.
“Hey, Mark,” Dylan said.
Mark squinted at him from behind the glint of his glasses. “You getting takeout? I might want something. Unless you’re going to Thai Palace—that place is trash.” Dylan loved Thai Palace.
Restaurant runs were common around this time of day. It was all covered by the office: a thoughtful perk to encourage them to work through the dinner hour and beyond.
“I’ve actually got to head out,” Dylan said. “It’s a family thing.” He hoped the tone of his voice suggested that the family thing was some kind of emergency than a grown sibling’s birthday party.
Mark blinked and licked his chapped lips, his tongue flicking out quickly like a lizard’s. “I need you to take another look at the modeling for Hartley. We’ve got some new inputs.”
“Another look” meant a couple of hours at least. “I’ll be in tomorrow morning at five.” He could almost hear his future self cursing him as he dragged himself out of bed.
Mark gazed over the cubicles. “Did you hear that Jeffries is no longer with us?”
Kevin Jeffries? He’d been hired less than a year ago. Had he left, or had he been fired? “Really,” Dylan said.
Mark nodded. “We’re not making a big announcement.”
Fired, then. They never announced that. Everyone just pretended that the person had never existed. Dylan got a heavy feeling in his chest. He hadn’t really gotten to know the guy. He wasn’t exactly friends with anyone in the office, for that matter. But he’d liked Kevin, whose cubicle had been decorated with photos of his wife and baby girl.
It wasn’t a job for a new dad. Maybe Kevin would be better off in the long run. Dylan hoped so.
Ellen approached them, her purse over her shoulder. Inwardly, Dylan cringed. Please don’t ask me about the research.
“I’m going to Thai Palace,” she said. “Dylan, you want your usual?”
Thanks for reading! If you’ve got a snippet of your own to share, please do that in the comments below…or just tell us about what you’re working on, if you feel so inclined. Happy writing!
Working on my middle grade novel, Amanda in Holland. Thought you might enjoy this little snippet. Hope the kids like it.
The girls picked their way across the pasture.
Leah looked nervously at the black and white cows dotting the field, nibbling on the grass. “Are you sure the cows won’t hurt us?”
“No way. They’re dairy cows and very gentle. My Uncle has some on his farm in Canada. They wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Amanda laughed.
Leah pulled out her cell phone and took a couple of pictures. “They look peaceful enough but I’m glad we aren’t too close to them. Is that the farm house over there?”
Amanda recognized the low slopping roof and dark brown shutters. “Yes, that’s it!”
“Oh no!” Leah shouted.
Amanda looked back just as Leah slipped on a large gooey cow paddy. She landed with a plop on her bottom beside it as her phone flew up in the air. She reached to catch it, but only managed to knock it away. Leah looked in horror as her phone fell right in the middle of the cow paddy.
Amanda chocked back a laugh when she saw the look on Leah’s face. She decided a laugh may not go over very well at the moment. Leah picked up the phone with the tips of her fingers and held it away from her. “Ewe, it smells just awful. Now what am I going to do?”
Amanda took off her backpack and scrounged around in it. “Ta Da!” She pulled out a package of wet wipes. “Mom always makes me keep these in my backpack. A good thing, eh?”
They used up the entire package to wipe the phone clean.
“I swear it still smells.” Leah wrinkled her nose.
Thanks for reading!
My nieces would love this!
Lol too funny, but a whole packet? A wonderful read, thank you for sharing.
Good stuff, Darlene. My older daughter would love this…my kids all seem to find cow poo incredibly funny. lol
Haha, eww! And I’m a little nervous around cows, myself…they’re peaceful, but they’re so big! Thanks for sharing, Darlene.
I think I worked in that office – glad to have moved on to a better place. I’m 30K into my Nano. This snippet has much angst…
Reid waited for Jess in the stale smelling waiting room and drank a terrible cup of vending machine coffee. He held his Budweiser pin in his hand as he contemplated all it meant to be a SEAL. It was the one thing in his life he was proud of.
“What’s that?”
Reid snapped out of his reverie and noticed a small boy standing in front of him. “It’s called a Trident.”
“Can I look at it?”
Reid held it up for him to see. “This anchor represents the sea. The pistol represents land. The eagle symbolizes the air. All the places a Navy SEAL takes care of business.”
“Can I look at it with my hands?”
He chuckled and handed it to him. “Sure Kid. Why not?”
“Is your Daddy sick too?”
“Um no. My friend is.”
“Oh. My Daddy is asleep. He sleeps for a long time so his brain will get better. They don’t make Band-Aids for brains.”
“No, I guess they don’t.”
“When he is done sleeping we are going fishing. Mama promised. You ever go fishing with your Daddy?”
Reid was at a loss on what to say to the kid. “Sorry kid, not all Daddy’s are good. Some beat up your Mama.” Yeah no. He couldn’t say that. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t go with my Daddy, but I have gone fishing.”
“You did? I never went fishing because I was too little. But now I’m big so I get to go fishing with Daddy. When he’s done with his big sleep.”
He handed the Trident pin back to Reid, crawled up on the chair next to him, and sighed like the weight of the world was on his tiny shoulders.
“I hope your Daddy gets better real quick. You’d be a good fishing buddy.” Reid tussled the boys white-blonde hair.
“Yeah. He might get dead though. The nurse lady told that to Mama when I was pretending to be asleep. They turn off the beeping machine then give all his guts to someone else so they don’t get dead.”
Reid was horrified. What do you say to something like that? “I’m sure the Doctors are doing everything they can to be sure that doesn’t happen.”
“Yeah.” He sighed, stood on his chair, and put his chubby hands on Reid’s cheeks. “If he gets dead do you think you could take me fishing?”
“Matthew Ryan Silva you leave that poor man alone!” A weary and frazzled looking young woman with a baby on her hip ran over and pulled the boy down from the chair. “I’m so sorry Mister.”
“But Mama, he knows about fishing! And he has a shiny pin. And he let me look at it.”
“It’s okay Ma’am. He’s no bother. I-I’m sorry about your husband.”
She smiled but it didn’t make it to her eyes. “It’s been a hard couple of weeks.” She looked at her son and stroked his curls. “For all of us.”
Oh My! I think I’m gonna cry. OOPS! Too late, tears already falling. This is simply beautiful! 🙂
*reaching for tissues* So sad and I’m now a blubbering mess lol. Thank you for sharing.
Oh wow, yanking on the heartstrings here!! Great excerpt, Diana. I’m going to hug my son now. 🙂
Ohhh, my gosh. You got all of us. — I did smile, though, when the kid asked if he could look at the pin with his hands.
Here is another snippet of my first-ever NaNo project. I’ll hit 25,000 words today—still optimistic that I’ll get to 50,000. My adorable MC keeps meeting the handsome love interest in inopportune ways:)
“Okay, groomsmen, I know I said I wouldn’t give too many instructions, but you three closer to me, lean back in your bar stools so I can see the groom better.”
Madeline was perched on her knees on the bar of the pub just down the way from the Tidewater Inn in Easton, Maryland, the location for the late-fall wedding she was photographing that sunny, but chilly, day the weekend before Thanksgiving. She rested her bottom on her feet–thankful for the stack-heeled maroon suede boots rather than the dressier heels she’d initially paired with her black cashmere sweater and skinny black twill pants early that morning, and brought her camera up to her face, taking a few final shots of the groom and his friends enjoying a pint before the ceremony. Satisfied, Madeline let her camera hang from the strap around her neck and placed her hands on either side of her knees, preparing to hop backwards off the bar.
“Is this how a photographer usually does their work?”
Madeline looked over her shoulder at the sound of the now-familiar accented voice and saw Colin Clarke standing behind her with a growler in his hand. She sighed inwardly, wondering if there was a time she would meet the man in a way that wasn’t at least slightly embarrassing for her. Twice she’d bumped straight into him–the second time drenched in sweat with her hair piled on top of her head, no less–then she’d fled from his office only to be overheard gossiping about him to the friendly receptionist, and now she was balanced on top of a bar with her rear-end practically in his face.
Embarrassment aside, her pulse sped at the sight of him in a pair of worn blue jeans and dark blue half-zip fleece, his face covered in a grudgingly admittedly appealing amount of weekend stubble that was as grey-flecked as his tousled hair. Madeline was slightly soothed by Colin’s easy smile–her inopportune situations didn’t seem to bother him.
Unable to stop herself from meeting his smile, she replied, “It depends on the day.”
As she used her hands to scoot herself back, she turned back to the groomsmen and said, “I’m under obligation to remind you all that you are limited to a pint each before the ceremony,” her smile broadening at the teasing boo’s and hisses she received at her warning.
“Don’t you worry,” the older man behind the bar assured her, “I’ve already closed out their tab.”
“May I help you down?” Colin asked as he placed the empty glass jug on the bar and moved the barstool that she’d used to climb to her location out of the way.
“I could have climbed down myself if you hadn’t moved my step-stool,” she said, raising her eyebrows at him as she swiveled to rest her hip on the bar, turning her body and sliding her legs from under her to dangle over the edge.
“Now, where’s the fun in that?” he asked as he placed his hands on her waist. “I rarely have the chance to be a gentleman.”
Lol love the interaction. Love to read more at the next WIP. Thank you for sharing and congrats on your first NaNoWriMo word count so far. Better than mine lol.
Thanks! I posted a first little bit in last week’s a little late, but it’s there. It’s a scene just before this one that’s kinda funny too:)
Gratz on your word count…awesome effort! Great snippet…I’m curious to see how things develop between them.
Go Erica! 25K is great progress. I bet you can do it! I really enjoy these two interacting. Thanks for posting!
I love this interaction. And congratulations on doing your first NaNoWriMo!
Great excerpts, everyone! I really want to read all these stories!
My excerpt is again from my second oracle story, picking up a little after where I left off.
I remember, all too well, when I thought I’d never see Gareth again, him or Dani or California itself. But I’m back and it’s a new school year and Claire Dorian and Gareth Davies, well, I think we’re a brand new thing. Not a big thing, we’re not popular enough for that, but a thing all the same. And all is right in my world again.
And he’s a welcome sight, for sure: sandy hair all rumpled and curling in the heat, fair skin slightly flushed. Really great calves exposed by his khaki shorts. And he grins when he sees us. “Claire.” Then he frowns. “Danica. You have a bit of, er, decomposing flesh, I believe? All over the left side of your face.” He spent much of the summer with his family in the UK; his pseudo-accent is still stronger than it was last June.
“Thanks for noticing,” Dani says. “Hey, Davies, where’s your sweater vest? Looks like you accidentally wore a tee shirt today.”
He looks down as if surprised to see it. “Oh, yes, I did. Bloody hot out there today. I think they’ll call off my soccer practice this afternoon—though I did see a few maniacs playing hoops out in the quad. Shirts versus skins.”
Shirts versus skins. Uh oh.
“Shirts versus skins,” Dani repeats. “And this was on school property?”
Gareth frowns. “Well, it’s the quad so . . .”
“The boys can go shirtless on school property,” Dani says. “But I wear a tank top with inch wide straps, and I get sent to the office.”
Gareth opens his mouth to explain but I cut him off.
“Didn’t Dani do an excellent job with her makeup today? Doesn’t it look realistic? Weren’t you scared?”
“Terrified.”Gareth cocks an eyebrow at me but there’s no way to explain.
Dani waves him off. “Any beginner can do zombie makeup. You should watch my YouTube channel. I turned my entire face into a gaping maw.”
I like this scene. I’m interested in anyone wearing zombie makeup to school. 🙂
I’m loving the snippets from this story. Thank you for sharing.
I really like Dani…she’s a spicy kinda girl! And the double-standard…so relevant right now. I’m really enjoying what you’re sharing, Kimberly.
I love the whole mood of this, Kimberly. Gareth politely pointing out the decomposing flesh. Dani’s sense of injustice. And this: “But I’m back and it’s a new school year and Claire Dorian and Gareth Davies, well, I think we’re a brand new thing. Not a big thing, we’re not popular enough for that, but a thing all the same.” 🙂
Oh, boy, Bryn, this scene is perfect. Great balance of dialogue with internal thought. You build tension while exploring character and plot at a great pace.
I’m working on my Dragon Age romance, The Amatus and the Altus. This week I hope to post chapter 16, Friends and Liars. SPOILERS ahead. Content includes some f-bombs and intense feelings about the casualties of war:
It was a tense few minutes of waiting, until the dreadnought coasted into the harbor with a series of dinging bells. Two simultaneous shots hit the smuggler’s smaller, faster ship, and it exploded into flames.
Bull grinned. “Beautiful.” He glanced down at the beach. “Oh, crap.”
Four Venatori Enchanters and a couple of foot soldiers strode toward the hill held by Krem and the other Chargers.
“Not even Dalish can handle four of them,” Quinn said. “Ser, what do we do?”
Lace looked to Bull, expecting him to sound the retreat, but he was quiet, his expression unreadable.
“A fucking fourth dinghy,” Tina spun on Gatt. “You’re a real shithead, you know that? Sending one man to do the job of a whole company. I know children who collect better intel than you do.”
“We all knew it was risky,” Gatt said, “but we can’t back out now. The Chargers have to hold position, give the dreadnought time to move.”
“Bull?” Lace asked, doubt finally creeping in. Was he really going to leave Krem to the Venatori?
He looked down at her, his good eye wide with fear.
“Sound the retreat,” she said gently.
“No!” Gatt said. “If they don’t engage those Enchanters, the dreadnought is dead. You’d be declaring yourself Tal-Vashoth!”
“They’re my people,” Bull growled out, pointing toward the Chargers.
“I know,” Gatt’s voice wavered briefly. “But you need to do what’s right, Hissrad . . . for this alliance, and for the Qun.”
Bull sighed and hung his head, reaching for the horn on his belt. “You lost me at ‘Hissrad.’”
He blew one long, clear note on the horn, and the Chargers turned and retreated.
Gatt turned his back on him and spoke to Lace one last time. “There will be no alliance between our peoples. Nor will you be receiving any more Ben-Hassrath reports from your Tal-Vashoth ally.”
The elf left without a backward glance, not even one toward the ship that held his own people.
Three of the Enchanters flung fireballs into the side of the dreadnought. It didn’t crack the hull and sink; it just fucking exploded.
Helpless, she watched the smoke fill the harbor. So many lives snuffed out by a single gesture. “How many?” she asked Bull.
“Probably three dozen, most of them Viddathari.”
“Viddathari?” It was not a term she’d heard before. She searched his face for clarification.
“Uh,” Bull shifted uncomfortably. “Humans, elves, and dwarves who live by the Qun.”
More labels. More tiles for people who didn’t have names. Disposable people. It was exactly what Krem had told her it was.
The Qunari had been at war with Tevinter for centuries. No way should a dreadnought have been unprepared for a handful of Enchanters. Unless it was a set up.
Rage rose up within her. The same rage she’d felt when Stitches had handed her the Dalish wedding ring in that cabin where the Blades leader had slaughtered her agents.
With a wordless scream, Lace ran after Gatt and shoved him to the ground.
Set ups and what looks like betrayal never makes a good cocktail for the characters. An explosive situation about to go off. Love the read, thank you for sharing.
Great tension and dialogue…I really enjoy your excerpts, DAfan! Poor Lace…sucks when you’re in the middle of things as they start to fall apart. Looking forward to the next snippet!
Hey, friend! Thanks for the kind words! Really good stuff…such realistic actions and feelings when everything starts to go wrong.
I was planning to post some freshly written Fantasy’s Tales here, but since I’m composing a 12 minute suite for a friend’s birthday, I just haven’t got the time for that.
Well, more RedFang it is. (You can read the entirety of RedFang here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10271264/chapters/22748141)
As you break up camp the next morning, a powerful wind is blowing. You don’t like it much, and it’s even stronger since you’re following the coastline. Aranea asks why not, you answer: ‘This is the kind of storm that can blow Pyralspite off course if he’s searching for me.’
She dismisses it as nonsense. ‘Pyralspite is a powerful lusus. Surely he can take some wind.’
‘And I thought you were a pirate. Haven’t you worried once when this kind of wind was blowing out on sea?’
Surely she must have. A good storm can devastate ships, even you know that. But to your surprise, she laughs. ‘You know what I did when it stormed out on sea? I let the crew reef the sails and then I stepped onto the prow of the ship and enjoyed the wind. Redglare-’ she holds still and shrugs off her backpack into the sand. ‘- come on, enjoy it!’ The broad smile on her face reveals how much she’s loving this. With a sigh, you drop your pack.
‘Right, I’m enjoying it.’ The sand blowing about stings in your eyes and you’re anxious to move on. But she walks up behind you and spreads out your right arm. You see her standing with her arm spread wide open behind you.
‘No you’re not. Don’t be so stuck-up. Just feel the wind in your hair.’
She has a lot more hair than you. But as you feel the warmth of her body through your clothes and see how much she’s enjoying it, you close your eyes. With each deep breath you take, fresh, salty air streams into your lungs. Now you start to understand why she likes it. You imagine her doing this on a ship in the middle of the ocean.
‘See?’ Her voice is surprisingly close to your ear. She grabs your right shoulder and turns you around for a kiss. The salty taste of her lips makes the experience way better. When you walk on, you see her long coat billow behind her. She’s walking fast now, and you step your tempo up a notch too. For the entire day, you two follow the coastline. The dunes on your right hand side get higher as the distance passes. When it starts getting dark, you need a place to stay for the night. ‘It’s only sand here,’ you say to Mindfang.
‘Yeah, maybe if we walk a little bit into the dunes, we’ll find a better suitable place.’
She’s somewhat right. The high dunes are not ideal, but at least the wind is not as strong here. You need to use twice as many tent pegs to make sure that the tent doesn’t blow away. Cooking is impossible outside with all of the sand. As Aranea prepares bread for dinner, you spread out the sleeping bags. This evening, you don’t bother with fancy dinner. A few slices of bread with cheese and dried sausage have to do. You eat them while sitting in your sleeping bag already. The Marquise puts her sword close by her side. ‘There’s a small town a few miles inland,’ she says. ‘I can’t be sure that no one passes by here tonight.’
Oh, I just saw that you’re only allowed to post 500 words… well, a little bit over it is alright, I hope.
I’m so enjoying this and the 2nd person POV. Thank you for sharing.
I’ll echo KC that the 2nd person POV is great. You’re doing a great job with it. Good luck with the suite!!
Kiete, it is so cool that you’re composing a suite for your friend’s birthday! That seems like something from the 18th century to me. What a great tactile and sensual scene. Thanks for posting.
Leading up to the dark place before the climax …
***
“Wait,” Florencia said.
She’d prepared for bed while I was in the bathroom, and now she sat up, her back to the wall, her hands carefully smoothing the blanket, her eyes studiously watching her hands. “I need to talk to you.”
This did not look good. “Yeah?”
“I got a second set of…instructions. From the Order.” Her lips closed, then firmed, and her nostrils flared. “They’re unhappy. They think I allow all sorts of things to happen in my House. They don’t like that you and Joana chose to stay with me, and they’re very concerned about Joana and Diego.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. This had been bothering me for years. “What’s so wrong about two consenting adults in a relationship? They’re *married.*”
Florencia sucked in a long breath, then blew it out in a sort of sigh. “It’s not a moral question. The Order doesn’t give a damn about morals. It’s—well, it’s that two Afflicted people shouldn’t start a family. Sex leads to children, and our children come out…wrong.”
“Thank god we live in the age of birth control,” I said, my voice more tart than I’d intended. “I’ll prescribe Joana the pill.”
Florencia closed her eyes and shook her head. “I wish. I really do. But”—she passed me a folded paper. “Read this.”
I unfolded it, the paper crackling in my hands, and scanned the text, appalled at what I read. “They can’t be serious.”
“Oh, they are. It’s not just the possibility of children. It’s that Diego and Joana defied orders when they got married. This is the result.”
“You want me to do this.” I dropped the paper on my lap and pointed to it. “You want *me* to do this. I can’t. I won’t.”
“Lisette.” Florencia turned to face me, her face as grave as I’d ever seen it. “You must.”
“I don’t know *how* to do this.” I ran one hand through my hair, tugging on my scalp. “And I wouldn’t anyway. Florencia, I took an oath not to hurt people. This”—I thumped a knuckle on the paper—” violates that oath. It’s medically unnecessary. And it’s cruel.”
“I know.” Florencia took the paper back from me, folded it up, and made it disappear. “But, Lisette. If you don’t do it, I have to. And if I don’t, I have to execute them both and turn their bodies over to my superiors as proof. You are at least a doctor with some surgical skill. I’m not. So, you see, it’s not against your oath because it’ll be the least of all the evils on the table before us.”
I stared at her, my stomach churning, a cool sweat pricking my skin. I could not do what they’d asked of me. It ran against everything I valued about myself, and if I did it I would lose both Diego and Joana as friends. But if I didn’t—would Florencia really attempt surgery on Joana? Would she really shoot them both? I’d never seen her execute anyone, and I didn’t want to. I wasn’t certain I believed she could shoot one of us in cold blood.
Ohhhh… that sound so bad. I’m tense with all that tension. Great read. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, the lesser of two evils… What a choice – I really feel for Lisette. Looking forward to more!
Oh man…even though in this excerpt I don’t know exactly what’s being asked of Lisette, it’s feeling really awful. Thanks for posting!
Bryn – poor trapped guy! You got the cubicle farm down pretty well. 🙂
I am just laughing at an… interesting marriage proposal I wrote for the NaNo novel. (The two lovers were deskmates in the rural school, so he knew he could rely on her to help him teach to the younger ones. And he knew that she wanted to follow him to his village).
“I am returning home. As you know, I bought the land lot. Your relatives helped me to build the house. Now a school is being built too, where I am going to teach. I need a wife, to be the mistress of the house. I need a helper with the younger children in school too. I kindly ask you to grant me your daughter’s hand in marriage. We can have the wedding here, or to be the first one in the church we are building there, as you wish.”
Lol interesting indeed. Thank you for sharing.
Hi, Marina! Hahaha, this proposal is oh so practical! And I think in past times, a lot of proposals were. Thanks for sharing!
They loved each other since they were too young to realize it 😉 But to get the courage to ask her from her parents… the practical side was hiding the shyness.
Love it. makes me wish my writing project (NOT a NaNo attempt) was going better. -tc
Hahaha I don’t know if it was meant to be funny but Dylan’s antics made me giggle. I’ve so been in those shoes. Poor guy just wants to show up at a birthday party lol.
I took a teensy break from NaNo last night by accident, and wrote for a fanfiction I have going on wattpad instead. The scene was in my head and needed to come out. Anyway, I’ll be catching up on NaNo today/tomorrow. This is another excerpt from the nanny story:
***
“Oh, my god,” Ellie whispered. She had spotted Wes standing in line with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Turning back down the closest aisle, she said, “He’s buying flowers.”
“Who?”
“Wes!”
“Oooohhhhhh,” Willa said. “Is he there? Right now?”
“Yes. He’s in line.”
“Did you say hi?”
“No!”
“You’re hiding from him, aren’t you?”
Ellie tried to say something clever, but her words failed her.
“You’ve got it bad, sister.”
“Ugh, will you stop?”
“No. Not until you admit it. Admit you have a crush on your boss.”
“No.”
“Fine. This is fun for me.”
“Willa. What do I do? What am I supposed to say?”
“When you get home, just act surprised. It could just be a nice ‘thank you’ gesture. Or… maybe he has a little crush on you, too.”
“Well…”
“Uh huh. I knew there was more that you’re not telling me. Spill it.”
“The night he got the audition, I kind of heard him and Austen talking in the kitchen.”
Willa let out a little shriek. “I still can’t believe your boss’s best friend is freaking Austen Shepperd! I hate you.”
“Are you done?”
“My little Ellie, were you eavesdropping on your hot boss and his even hotter best friend?”
“Not intentionally. Well… Yeah. I was. But that’s not the point.”
Willa laughed. “Yeah, okay.”
“They were talking about me, and I thought maybe I did something wrong or whatever so I froze. You know? But then Wes said something about me being amazing with the boys—”
“D’awwww.”
“And then Austen called me pretty and Wes told him to shut up.” She held her breath as she waited for Willa’s response.
“Are you – Are you serious? Austen Shepperd himself called you pretty and YOU DIDN’T THINK TO TELL ME ABOUT IT?”
“Shh, don’t yell at me,” Ellie said, glancing around. Other shoppers kept looking at her as they passed by her in the aisle. She smiled and turned back toward the front of the store. Surely, Wes was through the line and gone by then.
Willa let out a long breath. “Girl. Those flowers are for you. And it’s not just a ‘thank you’ gesture, either. There’s chemistry between you guys and you can deny it all you want but all the signs are there. You’re just too damn stubborn to see them.”
Ellie was right; Wes was no longer in the store. Her nerves relaxed as she got into the express line. “Okay, so maybe part of me wouldn’t mind if that were true, but I really don’t think it is.”
“Lies. You are just afraid to believe it because of the jackass-who-shall-not-be-named,” Willa said.
“I gotta go. Tell Gentry hi for me. Talk to you later?”
“I better hear every last detail about these flowers when you get home. I mean it, Ellie.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll be the first to know.”
Love it. All that girly excitement lol. Thank you for sharing.
Omg, I was waiting for Wes to come around the corner after some unintentional eavesdropping on his part. This is a story I’d love to curl up on the couch with…lol What a fun read. 🙂
So lovely to catch up with what everyone’s doing. This is one of my favourite days of the week/month. 🙂
I’m really enjoying Dylan’s POV. I remember those cubicles and an office like that… Enjoyed it at the time, but I’d never go back. lol
Here’s a little snippet from Gabrielle’s journey to university. She’s aboard an airship, and they’re nearing the island.
———-
Gabrielle wasn’t sure if she’d fallen asleep. A sudden charge of electrified energy exploded around her, shattering her calm and leaving her agitated. She bolted upright on the lounge, the hair on her arms prickling. She smoothed her hands over her hair and licked her lips, looking around Keerlyn’s office for an explanation.
Something large and fast shot past the window, making her jump and fully drawing her attention. Gabrielle got to her feet and walked past Captain Yelrynnyn’s desk, surveying the sky. The dripping sun was beginning to creep low in the heavens, skirting the western horizon and splashing around a palette of dusky oranges and fiery russet tones. Clouds were catching fire and bursting into all manner of glowing reds, contrasting with the deepening blue of the aging sky. The sunset was mirrored in the vast, glassy ocean so it looked like the whole world was engulfed in the burning scarlet of a dying sun.
The odd sensation tore through her again, a spectral gust of wind that almost knocked her off balance. She put her hands on the window to steady herself, drawing a sharp breath. Her jaw dropped and her eyes locked on the majestic dragon dancing on the wind as it toyed with the Ryhmura. It was an enormous creature, at least half the size of the airship, with a colossal wingspan, a powerfully built body, and a long tail. It nearly blended into the sunset with its golden orange colouring; shades of indigo and green tinted the edges of its wings, however, reminding her of a peacock. It rolled and relaxed in the air currents, looking more like it was swimming than flying.
She couldn’t look away. Her legs trembled. Putting out her hand, Gabrielle grabbed hold of the arm of Captain Yelrynnyn’s chair and sat down, glaring through the window with disbelief and wonder.
Another dragon flew into her field of vision and skimmed the first in a teasing fashion with its tail. It was a brilliant green, accented with similar highlights in gold and indigo. On closer inspection, they were different – the green one had great, curled horns like a ram, while the orange once sported a flowing mane around its neck that trailed halfway down the length of its spine. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, playing with each other and flirting with the Ryhmura.
The fantastical creatures were spellbinding. Gabrielle couldn’t move. There were so many emotions bubbling up that she couldn’t tell if she wanted to laugh or cry. She felt their joy, felt as though she should be soaring out there with them… At the same time, she didn’t want them to see her, wanted to turn and hide away from them. She was sure she could hear them laughing and calling to one another, but the sound was more like a foggy whisper from another lifetime. Seeing them, she felt like knew them…like she was coming home for the first time.
Ohhhh, love this. I want to buy this once published. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading, KC. I always appreciate your encouragement!
My pleasure and just the simple truth 🙂
Great descriptions!
Thanks for reading!
Love it, Bryn. I feel sorry for him as it looks like a conspiracy against him leaving lol. This is on my to buy list.
While this is another NaNo I won’t win, the words are still coming out. So, that’s good lol.
The following is what I’ve written over the past week. The first part happens immediately after last year’s NaNo when Scott arrives home after his encounter with Blake.
The second part picks up after last weeks sharing. Warning: there are F bombs.
~*~
What I want to do is go for a long fast drive along the highway. But, after that dizzy spell, I reluctantly head home instead. Once home, I head to the back patio to rest up.
“Scott?”
“Yeah, Mamma.”
“Are you okay? I wasn’t expecting any time soon.”
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
Mamma comes through the screen door and stands beside where I’m sitting. Crouching down, she places a finger on the side of my jaw and turns me to face her. I open my eyes.
“You look tired, Sweetie.”
“I am.”
“What’s wrong? Something happened while you were out.”
I’ll never understand a parent’s intuition, of how they just seem to know without having been there or anything being said. I don’t bother with trying to fob her off the subject.
“Met up with that guy I saved and he accused me of lying to him to make of fool of him.”
“And did you?”
“Not intentionally. I told him the truth as I knew it at the time.”
“His reaction hurt you.” She didn’t ask, she knew.
I nod.
“You’re attracted to him, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” I murmur with a sad smile.
“While I’ve accepted I’ll never have grandchildren, I won’t accept you never being in a happy loving relationship. You can’t let what Craig had done to you close you off. It’s been over ten years, Sweetheart, don’t let him win like this.”
“I’ll try, Mamma.”
She caresses my cheek. “That’s all I can ask.” Then she kisses me on the forehead and heads back inside.
I stare out over the trees and blue sky not knowing what the hell I’m going to do about Blake.
~*~
“I feel like I’m burning out. What the fuck am I fighting for when the rogues and victims look like they’re still kids. Even twenty five to forty years ago, both at least looked like they were adults. It’s like I’m not making a difference at all.”
“True, I don’t know the specifics of the world you fight in but change the career and apply those issues to those that fit in with any given job and most will understand what you’re going through. You fight because you know it’s right. It’s true most Altereds have been changed against their will, but not all are bad and break the law. Nor do they normally try to get revenge.
“I’m sure, others like me, are willing to let guys like you get revenge for us. But…!” He holds up a finger. “Even you guys need to take time off. If you work too hard and too long, then physical and mental exhaustion can set it. The physical side of it is easy to deal with. It’s the mental exhaustion that definitely needs the time.
“Scott, if, at the end of your holidays, you discover you’re still feeling this way then you need to seriously consider taking more time off. If still so at the end of that, then definitely think about what it is you would like to do. It’s no use continuing to do something if your heart and mind aren’t into it anymore as that could get you killed.”
I stare at him. I didn’t expect such an intelligent response from him and that assumption is my own fault.
“So, in other words, enjoy the time off now and think about it and decide upon it later.”
“Yep.”
Surprisingly, a weight eases off my chest. It doesn’t completely disappear but it’s not as crushing as before. Going over to the sink to rinse my cup, I note how dark and heavy the clouds are sitting in the sky. Picking up my mobile, I check the weather app.
I loved both snippets, KC. The first…ah, a mother’s intuition. 🙂 I love the fact that she’s so supportive of her son. And in the second…good dialogue between them and great advice from one character to the other. Good luck for the last week of NaNo – as long as the words are coming, that’s the important thing! 🙂
Thank you, Lisa. Yeah, the dice roll on how his parents treat him was good to him lol. As for NaNo, thank you again and yep, that’s how I look at it. I might not get to 50000 but I’ve got more words compared to not trying :).
Nicely crafted, Bryn. (What does Dylan do, again? If I missed it in the first snippets, my bad.)
Here’s a fresh piece from “Destruction” which I’m not doing for NaNo this year (too many things on my plate). However, the damned thing’s writing itself, so, yeah. This encounter is between June Vereeth (my heroine) and her “boss,” a Mitasterite admiral named Tohk-Mahsda (who has defected from the belligerent Mitasterite Empire). It’s right after an action mission where Vereeth could have eliminated both parties during a secret meeting (both arriving by shuttle).
“What is your meaning by this?” Admiral Tohk-Mahsda asked. We were in her office, where she leered up from her desk and my data-pad report. Her voice was cold, clear and loud.
I swallowed before answering. “I did not have enough information to justify an execution, Ma’am.”
“Incorrect,” she said, rising. “You witnessed them talking.”
I kept my eyes fixed on a colored-glass sculpture behind her desk—wondering how it might feel being bashed in the skull by a thick curve—as she walked past me.
“That is correct,” I admitted.
“You witnessed an exchange of information.”
I swallowed again. “That is correct,” I admitted, with difficulty. My face was burning up. I needed air. I needed to itch the bead of sweat descending my back like a parasite. But I couldn’t break fixed stance, not while being dressed down by a superior officer.
Worst of all, her towering height enhanced the sense of menace—behind me, where I would only sense (and not see) a blow coming. I was in her thrall.
“Who were they? Answer me!”
“I do not know, Ma’am.”
“How were their lives worth sparing compared to the poachers on P-Seven-Five? Answer!”
I struggled to maintain composure. “The poachers my colleagues and I encountered on P-Seven-Five were guilty of crimes. We witnessed this. We understood that many more such crimes would occur. It was…an emotional response.”
“You left those men tied to an iceberg on a dangerous planet.”
“Yes.”
“This might be considered a morally questionable act.”
“Yes.”
“So,” she said, coming to stand beside me, “what was the difference down on the moon?”
‘What are you going to tell her, June? That you pitied them? That you pitied their young lives snuffed out without cause? That you had no actionable intelligence?’
“I made a judgment call, Ma’am.” I swallowed against an irritating itch in my throat. “Apparently, it was the wrong call.”
The admiral’s swift stride to my left made me jump. Her tree-length arm grabbed my data pad.
“Rather than take out the targets, Major, you chose to nullify both engines with rifle shots. One each.” She paused. “Can you be certain this would do the job?”
I brightened a bit, the conversation turning towards my knowledge base. “Yes, Ma’am. On full power, each shot delivered irreparable damage. My, uh, best friend is a pilot. She would never fly with damaged engines. To, uh, escape atmosphere would be suicidal. Ma’am.”
Tohk-Mahsda cocked her head at the report, as if amused. “You added a third shot, through a window. A safety?”
I nodded, hoping that she was beginning to see the logic of my decision. The Mitasterite craft was doomed. Even if my shots had not lanced the center of each engine—rendering them ineffective—the third one sealed the deal. No shuttle that small has a viable shield. If the pressure differential didn’t rip the craft apart on takeoff—via the acceleration curve—the almighty vacuum of space would do it. Centuries of interplanetary disasters have taught all captains about the dangers of a single, pin-sized hole. My blown-out window ensured the pilot and his passenger knew about it.
She—the Mitasterite woman on the surface—had glared in my direction when I was done. She never reached for a weapon. She’d have never located me exactly from six thousand feet out. Still, my intent was clear, judging by her snarl.
“You put their fate in someone else’s hands.”
“Correct, Ma’am.”
By eliminating their transport, one of them would have to call for assistance. The meeting was a secret, down on the surface of an unpopulated moon. It was supposed to be a secret, at least. Unless the Kuyuulshahn hiked out of there in a hurry, occupants of the Mitasterite-frequency vessel which came for the woman and pilot would learn of this meeting. What other explanation would there be? Kuyuulshahn craft would not respond to the call, not in wartime and so far from home. Not from a Mittie ship when the two factions were trying to hide their collusion.
“What if the contents of that data card mean death for those lovers, and the pilot?”
I cleared my throat. “Then, I believe, Ma’am…that is out of my hands.”
The admiral’s expression turned into a wry grin. She tossed the data pad onto her desk. “Clever,” she said.
‘What, really?’
I believe I’d just passed a test.
“Mitasteros’ war machine is all-encompassing. Fingers and boots everywhere. Are you thinking that this girl and her man get fed to the war machine?”
I considered this for a moment, tiny voices of pity trying to rise above the coldness in me.
“I suppose, Ma’am, these people made their own choices. Whatever consequences lie ahead…”
I didn’t finish the thought, catching a shift in Tohk-Mahsda’s face. My feelings of Mitasterites needed adjustment, I realized. They hinged on this powerful, brave master, on her character. The decision to turn against her home-world’s vast armies was certainly a death sentence.
‘What do I know of consequences?’
Hi, Justin! Oh my gosh, I almost missed this because I was on to the next week! Loved it, though. Great world-building and physical reactions, and the question of how much people can hang on to their empathy in wartime (I almost said “humanity,” but well, they’re not all human…)
Dylan is an investment banking analyst. The job really sucks. ☺