Hey all! I intend to make next year the best year of my life so far, and I’m doing a five-part series about planning that out.
Yes, I know it’s a little early for this. But think about it: Best Year Of My Life. The most fun and fulfilling year of my life so far (and I’ve had plenty of years by now, I don’t mind saying.) Obviously, that’s going to take some planning!
This will also give more people time to stumble across the posts before the New Year begins, because who knows? They might find it helpful.
You might be thinking: Wait a minute. How can you plan to have your best year? Aren’t we all at the the mercy of the whims of fate?
Yes, but also no. A catastrophe could destroy my plans. But fearing the worst would keep me from preparing for the best. A lot of my happiness depends on my own plans and day-to-day choices.
Here’s my first step in planning the Best Year Yet, and you can join me, if you want to: assessing the best and the worst of the year I’m in now.
What were the biggest triumphs and joys?
What were the biggest defeats and sorrows?
I know I’ve done things I’m proud of. I’ve also acted in ways that I don’t care to repeat…but if I didn’t think about it, I probably would.
And some good and bad things just happened. It’s good to take a moment to be grateful for the good things, and be compassionate toward myself as I recognize the bad things.
For me, this past year has been bananas… filled with abrupt and extreme changes. Fortunately, I like change! Mostly. Sometimes it’s hard. But a lot of it is also so exciting.
Triumphs and Joys
launched a business
published a good novel…and celebrated my release and my friends’ releases!
saw Hamilton and U2 with Mr. Donovan
(recently) gave up wine drinking at home
was politically active (speaking at town halls, participating in rallies)
visits with the Donovans, and with my brother & his family in Chicago
a Christmas movie based on my treatment!
teaching workshops and being a visiting speaker…some great experiences
good times with friends
Defeats and Sorrows
my grandma’s death
“lost weeks” of doing nothing but work and sleep…leading to health issues
feeling less connected spiritually (connected to above, I think)
neglecting things that help my mental health (morning ritual; mood tracking)
not having enough writing and blogging time really dulled my sparkle
overspending & not keeping track of expenses
too much time on Facebook
the business isn’t where I want it to be yet (but, it’s practically brand new)
I could put “Mr. Donovan getting laid off” on the Defeats and Sorrows list, but honestly, I suspect that it’ll turn out to be a Joy in the end.
[AdSense-B]
For me, that second list was hard to make. Personally, I’m embarrassed by some of the things on it. It reflects a few bad decisions, when I knew better.
But that’s okay! None of us is perfect, and just by writing it down, I realize that I can change some of the things that drag me down.
For other people, that first list may be hard to make. I know there are going to be some people who had a god-awful year. They’re going to think, “This whole year has been a big long train of defeat and sorrow.” But hopefully, even if that’s your situation, you can think of a few glimmers of hope, and those can help guide you to something better.
If you want to share your own reflections, feel free to do so in the comments! Either way, thanks for reading, and have a great week!
Want to read part two of this series? Go here!
Whoa! I admire your openness, though having met you when you spoke to the Joplin Writers Guild, I am not surprised. You exude attitude, the good kind. I am all about positive attitude. I co-wrote a book about it.
I believe we can control our lives a lot by how we deal with what life hands us. And we can control what it hands us a lot by preparing wisely.
I think you, my dear, can absolutely make this the best year of your life. You are looking at your past year honestly, admitting your not so good decisions and learning from them. Anyone who can do that, has it going. You go girl!
Bonnie — I totally agree that we control our lives a lot by our reactions to things. I really appreciate everything about this comment, including the vote of confidence! Thank you!
Your defeats and sorrows surprised me, because there are some echoes of my life in them. But ultimately that’s encouraging, because I think, if she can feel the way I feel, and make some of the same mistakes, but be that successful, then maybe I can be successful too! Thank you for sharing.
I think you and I have so much in common, so I guess I’m not surprised that we struggle with a few of the same things. I think of you as a successful person — I’m pretty sure most people who know you do. Thanks for reading, as always!
This is great! it is as easy to create a button as it is to create a castle- to truly live the best most positive fulfilling life i suggest you research “Law of Attraction” and my favourite teacher Abraham Hicks
Hi, Kassie! I have never heard of Abraham Hicks…I will look him up. Thanks for the recommendation, and for the positive words!
Wow Bryn! What a great Idea. I think I’m gunna hop on this with you. I love goal setting. SO this is perfect for me.
Joys:
finally putting pen to paper on my novel
getting out of credit card debt
getting ride of cable
spending more time doing the things that keep me mentally healthy
started essential oils
Sorrows:
Not having the novel ready for beta (Found some serious issues while editing and am having to do a massive rewrite)
Not being completely out of debit (still paying off the car)
Being forced to go on medication
several deaths in the family
These are just what I can come up with off of the top of my head. I’m sure their will be more to come.
Erin, you and I are such kindred spirits 🙂 All the progress you’ve made on the novel and getting out of credit card debt are both huge things — congratulations! And I didn’t know you had dealt with so much loss this year…I’m so sorry. <3
I look forward to this series, Bryn. This idea of creating one’s happiness can be a struggle for some people. Logically, I understand it completely…emotionally, I’m working on it. I had a good, long think about your post yesterday and fully agree that people need to plan for happiness and good things. Happiness is not always given to us on a plate. A lot of it is perception. My husband and I started to talk about a similar topic this morning (and have discussed it all day); we’ve had a few setbacks in our house lately that, when viewed in the grand scheme of things, are really not a big deal. It’s too easy to make them into mountains, or to start feeling like the universe is out to get us. The biggest thing that’s changed my perspective this year is being in a place where I’m basically alone with myself a lot of the time. Living in a city, going to work, dealing with external stuff – there’s always something happening that takes the focus off one’s inner self. Since moving to Middle of Nowhere, having no outside job, and focusing on a very internal thing like writing, I’ve come up against a LOT of my own demons. Childhood conditioning from well-meaning family members colours everything, and wading through the negativity to find happiness in what I’m doing or achieving can be a struggle. I like writing – why do I feel like I’ve got a pile of rocks in my stomach? Sometimes fulfilling a dream can be as scary as the regret of never trying. Happiness is a double-edged sword. Some of my joys and triumphs are the same as my sorrows and defeats. However, I’m learning that unless you set a goal and strive toward it, you are always guaranteed defeat and sorrow. So plan for happiness and make course corrections along the way.
Hi, Lisa! It is SO easy to be brought down by setbacks. I try to tell myself, “In 10 years, you’re not going to be upset about this, so why even bother being upset now?” Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Pardon the crudeness, but I know a “eh, fuck it” attitude can go a long way, so I’m trying to cultivate that when it’s appropriate.
A lot of happiness is perception. After a real mental health crisis several years ago, I got a lot better at taking charge of my mood, but of course it’s something I have to work at all the time, and some weeks I do better than others.
I used to know people who tried to practice “pronoia” – the idea that the universe was secretly conspiring in their favor. It’s kind of a fun idea, because it does make you see the things that are going right, instead of taking them for granted as “normal.”
I actually think following your dreams can be brutal. I just think the alternative is worse, haha. And wow, you are so right about some triumphs and defeats being the same thing.
Thanks for posting! I kind of wish you didn’t live in the middle of nowhere, so we could hang out.
I hear you… I find “WTF” is such an appropriate phrase in my life; it can be a question, a sigh, an expletive…so versatile. The crudeness sometimes just feels like silk pyjamas. lol
Mental health issues are difficult for people who don’t have them to understand; I saw a therapist many years ago, and she made a world of difference. My husband is very German and “soldiers on”. He supports me infinitely, but he can’t always get his head around why I’m feeling the way I do. I totally understand what you mean about taking charge of one’s mood. I try to take charge of my feelings and hug my inner child and keep guilt and fear away from my own kids (yeah, you’ve gotta love a Polish upbringing – Polish parents work in guilt like an artist works in oils or watercolours).
“Pronoia” – love it! I’ll have to try it.
Yeah, living on the other side of the world is a bit of a pisser, isn’t it? LOL I’d love to go out for coffee with you. I may be visiting my family in Chicago next year…haven’t been back for over 9 years… Road trip! 🙂
This year was emotional rollercoaster for me. I passed through phase of complete failure. Where I lost all hopes from my life. The regretion of not able to complete my dreams haunted me day & night. but in between all these I found my passion of writing,and learned many things from my life.