Eeep — sorry this is late! Let’s do WIP Wednesday and Thursday!
Hey, everyone, welcome to WIP Wednesday! On the first Wednesday of every month, I always share an excerpt of my writing and invite others to do the same. Since we’re sharing work that’s in progress, we don’t offer critique here. It’s not Beta Reader Wednesday. However, kind words are always welcome.
Last month, I did a little work on 3 different book projects. Here’s what my word counter looked like at the end of September:
And here’s what it looked like at the end of October. The Equinox Stone is the second book in a trilogy after The Phoenix Codex.
So that was 16,450 new words, which wasn’t a huge total, but hey, all progress is good progress! A Knight Restored is my NaNoWriMo project, so I should be making big progress there in November.
I’m going to share another excerpt from that story. Gryffen is a medieval knight who was turned into stone, and Emily is an art conservator at the museum that acquired him as a sculpture. Gryffen has communicated with her telepathically and visited her in her dreams.
[AdSense-B]
“Don’t worry,” Emily murmured to Gryffen. “They’ll just move you to the other room off the main lab so I can do a little restoration. And then in a few weeks you’ll be in the exhibit, and you’ll see a bunch of people, so that will be fun, right? And after the exhibit I’ll finish restoring you, which is going to take months.” Gryffen didn’t understand all of this, but he liked the sound of the last part especially.
She raised her hand and caressed his cheek.
Gryffen’s soul crumbled into pieces at her silken touch. It was more pleasurable and intense even than her touch or her kiss in her dream, because it was real. Though she felt only stone, he felt her living warmth. For centuries, none had touched him in friendship or in love, and his gratitude overwhelmed him. Sweet lady. You undo me.
She gasped and drew her hand back as though it had been burned. Gryffen felt wetness on his cheek. Rain. A leak in the ceiling…
No. Moisture touched his face and nowhere else. His statue was weeping. He was weeping. Impossible, but true.
She backed away from him, her eyes as wide as if she regarded a devil from Hell. “This isn’t happening,” she whispered. He tried to open his mouth and speak aloud. If he could produce tears, than why not words?
They would not come. He attempted to lift a hand to reach out to her, but it did not budge. Do not be afraid, his soul implored her.
She turned around and ran out of the room.
~
Go ahead and share an excerpt of what you’re working on in the comments, if you want to! Either way, thanks for reading!
Oooh, smashing, now I’m desperate to know what happens next! Loving the description oh how he’s feeling.
Oh, thank you so much, Pat! Thanks for reading!
I’m really invested in your story right now, I especially like the way Gryffen’s mind works, because you’ve really captured the old fashioned feel.
Here’s some backstory I’ve been working on for my main character.
He couldn’t breathe. Never before had he found the heavy scent of oil choking but now it wound its way into his nostrils letting only a flicker of air find its way into his lungs.
Zoltan was pressed against the brittle wood that made up the ground underneath the broken-down tractor, his brother lay beside him, their hands entwined tight as a knot. He could barely hear his brother breathing.
There was crack in the shed door and through it Zoltan could see the blood red sky. Orange clouds roiling and burning. The slavers had come with fire and pain just as the traders had warned.
He could hear Mocco barking. His snarls punctuating his mother’s voice which was slowly growing louder. Angry. Threatening. Zoltan had never heard her like this. There were more voices too. Lower, fiercer and a thousand times more confident. There was a bang and the barking stopped.
Zoltan’s mother’s voice rose to the pitch of a scream, the words still indistinguishable. There came a second bang.
“Zoltan don’t move- “his brother began, but it was too late he was already scrambling to his feet racing towards the door, hands stretching for the handle.
Ameris caught his foot, yanking him back sending him to the floor with a thump.
There was silence outside. Then the door to the shed creaked open.
Two seconds later they were being dragged screaming from the shed.
Zoltan withered against his captors, thrashing until he managed to free one arm. There was what sounded like cursing in a language he didn’t understand and something heavy smashed into his temple.
The world spun, dotting black. The ground was splotched red, mirroring the sky. There was something furry and small on the ground in the corner of his eye. Nearby he could see someone, with long black tresses. They were curled up, in a growing pool of red.
Zoltan couldn’t see the face. He wanted to see her face. He twisted his head. He wanted to see his mother. He wanted his mother.
He struggled again, and again the something smashed into his temple, a voice barked in his ear, but this time Zoltan couldn’t stay conscious and the world winked out.
Oh wow, Megan. This is so visceral and intense. It really got to me. 🙁
Thank you for posting! And thanks for reading mine, and for the kind words. 🙂
Wow! So intense! I want to know what happens next to the brothers.
Another great excerpt Bryn, I cannot wait to read this book! Gryffen is a wonderful character.
I’m doing my first NaNoWriMo – attempting to write a spin-off novella from my first book, which I’ll be publishing in the new year. Here’s a very brief extract from the 2319 words I managed to get down today! 🙂
It’s been several months since I killed Florence. I can still taste her blood on my lips, warm and rich. She had always had a crush on me, her thoughts bounded through my head daily when we were teenagers. She had flirted with me, frequently brushing her hand over my arm, or offering me a cigarette, leaning in close. It didn’t matter, I didn’t have eyes for her. She was nothing compared to her younger sister Alice.
It hadn’t taken me long to work my way into Alice’s life. From the moment our eyes met we knew. We would be together without any doubt. Two years flew by in a blur of dancing, drinking, movies, making out.
She had such a natural, carefree nature about her. Always smiling, forever flitting merrily around town in her little miniskirts, like the whole world was in her lap, waiting to bestow further happiness upon her around every corner.
At least, that was how she used to be. In these last months she has withered into a mere shell of her former self.
I should never have come back. That much was clear. What on earth had possessed me? I had been away for years. I was okay, I was doing my own thing. Not good things, not acts of love and happiness, but those are not in my nature now. I had accepted that.
She had moved on, gotten over my disappearance. She had presumed me dead. The irony!
It had been the right thing to do. After I was turned into a vampire there was no other choice. It was stay here in New York, in my crazed blood lust – and kill all those around her, including, lets face it, probably Alice herself. Or I could leave, and indulge the bloodlust elsewhere. So that’s what I did.
Nicola, congratulations on your book coming out in the new year — how exciting! And you’re off to a great start with NaNoWriMo! This is a strong first person voice and genuinely creepy.
Ooooo, a nice start to a vampire story. I love vampire stories.
Thank you ladies! 🙂
Wow, Bryn, that was awesome. It brought tears to my eyes. It’s a good thing my family are used to my tears whenever I read or watch something -laughs-.
Here is the beginning of this year’s NaNo; though the title needs to be changed…
*****
Antonio Meets Sarah
Chapter 1
With a sigh, I lay my pen down. Despite being Second in Command, I hate this paperwork. I have no trouble doing it for my own business. But, for this volunteer job, I hate it. Give me the practical side of it and I’m fine but sitting at a desk… Standing, I sigh again.
Walking over to the window, I look out at the traffic heading home after finishing work or late night shopping. Glancing at my watch, I note it is five past nine pm; the shopping centre is closing its doors for the day. Turning my head to the right, I see two women walking along with a light fog swirling around them. Ah, winter. Not that I’ve seen snow since moving north to Brisbane.
Watching the women; one is tall and slim, a bit too slim really, with her hands gripping themselves tightly only to twist and wring themselves every now and then. I recognise that action and take a closer look at the woman. I smile as I recognise Hillie. However, it is rather surprising to see her walking with the other woman; and, walking with her she is because the other lady is walking incredibly slowly and Hillie practically speed-walks in her nervousness.
The other woman is a head shorter and much heavier in weight compared to Hillie. Then I see a flash of a walking stick and notice her short limping steps as they enter the yard. As I head to the front door, I hear knocking; more than likely being Hillie. Opening the door, I am right since the other woman is standing behind her.
“Hillie, what happened?” I blurt out as a greeting while beckoning to two women inside.
“W-w-while I was heading here, th-th-this woman saved me from being attacked by th-three young hoodlums who attacked me because for what I am. Then she graciously w-w-walked here with m-m-me.”
While listening to Hillie, I occasionally glance at the young woman behind her. The woman’s dark brown hair is tied into a pony tail high on her head. However, I can not see her face too well as her head is tilted down. As I watch her, I notice her starting to waver. Damn, I think she is going to collapse so I reach out and gently grab her arm.
“Whoa there, Miss. Here, sit down,” I urge as I gently guide her to a seat and help her to sit.
“Thank you.” She murmurs softly, briefly glances at me and slumps back into the seat with her eyes closed. Despite her obvious exhaustion, she has beautiful greyish-blue eyes and soft looking lips that are neither too thin or too thick. In that quick search of her face, she appears to be in her late teens to early twenties.
“No, thank you. It was so foolishly brave of you to save Hillie like that. The both of you are extremely lucky.”
“Antonio, what are you doing to that poor woman? Can’t you see she needs a cup of tea before anything else?” Comes the dulcet tones of my wonderful wife.
After noting the woman gazing wearily toward my wife, so do I.
Maria has been my wife for six years now and I love her dearly. Italian like me, her silky soft black hair looks like something from a fifties movie as curls gently brush her shoulders. Despite her scolding me, her chocolate brown eyes sparkle with love and amusement. I let my eyes roam her luscious curves with a slight pinch to her waist as she walks toward us.
“You see to Hillie’s injuries and I’ll tend to this young lady.” She instructs then turns her attention to our unexpected visitor. “I’m Maria and I apologise for my husband’s lack of manners,” She clucks softly as she hands the woman a hot cup of tea.
“Thank you. I’m Sarah,” She murmurs tiredly and sips the beverage.
Opening the door beside the young woman, I step aside so Hillie can enter. Leaving the door open, I can still hear the two women while tending to Hillie. Checking her over, I find no injuries. If she had any, they appeared to have healed.
“Honey, what possessed you to step into the fray like that when you could have been hurt or worse?” Maria’s accent thickens with concern.
“Apart from not really thinking about the situation at all, I just couldn’t let them hurt her. It’s wrong and against the law to discriminate. Even against therians.” Despite the cup of tea, she still sounds tired.
“Are you alright? Were you harmed during the attack?” I ask as I duck my head a fraction to peer into Hillie’s eyes. Not hearing Maria respond, I’m surprised the woman called Sarah knows what Hillie is.
The were-fox nods then shakes her head and I set about making her a hot chocolate. It is a good thing I know her mannerisms to understand her responses to me.
Aww KC, so glad you liked the excerpt!
And thanks for posting yours. Very nice! It kept subverting my expectations. I thought Sarah was going to be a love interest for Antonio, but he’s married and adores his wife; and I thought it was going to be realism, and then it turned out no 🙂 I really enjoyed it. Good luck on NaNo, KC!
Thank you, Bryn. For the comment on the excerpt and for the encouragement on NaNo. There are little twists throughout this one. This story wasn’t planned. The day before first day of NaNo, I was planning on writing from some prompts. But on day one of NaNo, Antonio came forward. As for your excerpt, I am so impatient for the book to come out. I look forward to your wip Wednesdays in the hope of reading more of this story of yours.
Very intriguing KC, kept me wondering! I was surprised when the wife showed up too!
Thank you, Nicola.
Oh, that was so sweet! I am really enjoying this story. I would definitely recommend it to my romance loving friends!
I have a bit of awkward teenage flirting today, from this year’s NaNo novel. Claire is only fifteen, but who isn’t a total dork around their crush?
Gareth finishes to applause from the crowd and a snore from the old man in the corner. He flashes a smile, thanks the audience, and turns to put away his guitar.
I watch him but try to seem like I’m not, adjust the angle of my fisherman’s cap, re-tie the laces of my green and purple shoe (that don’t need it). When I straighten up, he’s headed towards me.
Like I said, the place is all but empty. We don’t need to share a table–unless that’s what Gareth wants.
I try not to get too excited if it’s what he wants.
Gareth leans the guitar against the table and pulls up a chair across from me. “Claire. So glad you could make it.” Gareth moved from the UK when he was eight, and has the hint of an accent. It isn’t consistent, not when he speaks “properly,” as he says, which just slays me. “We can use all the audience we get.”
I wish he had a full amphitheater filled with adoring throngs.
I blink at him. “Well, I mean I’m reading a poem later.”
“Yes, that’s right.” His smile dims.
I don’t mean it like it sounds. Wish I could take it back “And there’s Dani’s monologue.”
“Oh, of course.”
Metis. Why do these words keep coming out of my mouth? “And it’s free.” Like that. Could I be any worse at this?” Without thinking I put my hand on Gareth’s wrist. “But you were really, really great!”
It’s the truth, but somehow that matters less than my hand upon his wrist.
Nice read. I wouldn’t have known she was only 15 if you hadn’t said so. The scene could be for any age.
Ohhh, this is so adorable. Claire is so bad at this 😀 I really feel for her. I love it. And thanks for the nice words, Kimberly!
Loved your excerpt! I can’t wait for the book; such a great premise! I’m still slogging away at the epic rewrite of Libra’s Limbo. In this excerpt, the antagonist Taryn is still trying to figure out how she fits in to this new to her paranormal world called the InBetween.
“Taryn took a deep breath as she brushed her hands along the cold stone and lumps of squishy, wet mold clinging to the wall. As soon as she had covered her eyes with the blindfold, her senses had gone into overdrive. A soft hiss flashed past her right ear. She jumped to the left and rolled on the ground before rising again. She listened as she backed away, one hand in front, the other behind her. She hit a wall and a whisper of air passed an inch from her nose.
“Shit.” She rolled along the wall then pushed off. Her heart pounded, pushing the blood through her ears until the whooshing was all she could hear. “Uncle, uncle, uncle.”
“Still yourself and find the ley line,” her adversary demanded.
“How am I supposed to concentrate with you caning me to death?”
“You need to be able to do more than one thing at a time.”
“Like walk and talk?”
“Like finding the ley line while running for your life.”
An exhale sounded close to Taryn’s right ear. Her hackles rose and she lifted her arms over her head to block the blow of the gnarled wood staff. It slammed against her forearms, the vibration racing through her body, shaking her to the core.
“Gemma! Son of a bitch!” She ripped off her blindfold. “Do you have to hit so hard?”
Gemma, the female half of the Gemini twins, lowered the weapon and scowled. “You’re the one who demanded we do this. I was happy working in the lab.”
Taryn ran her fingers over her aching arms. The swelling had already started, the bruises would be magnificent, hard to conceal, and harder to explain. “I need to find my place,” she muttered as she turned away from the woman.
“I thought figuring out what kind of experiments Llewellyn did to the paranormals was your place.”
Taryn walked to her lab coat lying in a heap on the ground. A wave of heat raced through her body followed by a cold sweat—she braced her hand against the wall. The secret training plus all the hours spent in the lab had taken their toll, but add in a lack of sleep and she was sucked dry, hollow. One more blow from Gemma and her exhausted ass would disintegrate into a pile of ash and bone. “I thought my place was on the surface being a human, but that was blown to shit.”
“I suppose that would the case for anyone learning that their mother was a witch goddess, and she wanted to sacrifice you,” Gemma said.
Taryn snorted. “Yeah, and for all her power, I still haven’t found a magical bone in my body. God only knows who my father is.”
“I’m still convinced you’re sire is a Corvus Ward.”
“If I’m half Corvus, why can’t I feel the ley lines that lace the planet? According to you, there’s one running right under my feet. Oh, but I suck at that too because I don’t feel a thing.” Taryn shrugged into her long-sleeved lab coat. “I have no place. I’m a woman without a country or a purpose.” She pressed on her temples to find some relief from the migraine that had plagued her for days, then rubbed her scratchy, burning eyes before slipping on sunglasses. Even the lowest light burned, and, after trying human medicine and paranorm magic, Taryn had concluded there wasn’t enough Visine in the world to get rid of her bloodshot eyes. “Enough of the maudlin stuff, let’s call it a day.”
Ooooo, I so want to read more of this. I’m enjoying your excerpts, thank you for sharing.
Hi Artemis, Thank you thank you for the encouragement, seriously – it’s so motivating. And thank you for posting! I was enjoying it so much and when I got to this: “I suppose that would the case for anyone learning that their mother was a witch goddess, and she wanted to sacrifice you,” Gemma said. I was just like… holy smokes. I hope you post more!
Great except, I want more! 🙂
That was supposed to read excerpt…but except works too! Haha
Hi Bryn,
This is an excerpt from Chapter 17 of my very first novel – Baring Souls. It’s about Teddy McGovern, who is an architect and she is in love with her childhood friend, Ari Jaeger.
Teddy has a terrible past and is a hesitant about relationship with Ari, but as we all know love prevails and they face a rocky road ahead of them.
I hope you like what I have written.
The ring firmly placed inside his jacket pocket, Ari strolls back to the office trying to envision his forthcoming proposal to Teddy, and how he was going to do it. He had figured out the when by the time he reached his desk, now he just had to come up with the how. His musings are interrupted by the buzzing of his mobile phone inside his pants pocket and exultation surged through him as Teddy’s name appears on the screen, “well hello there, gorgeous.” He grins widely with her giggling down the phone at his affectionate name for her. “What can I do for you on this fine afternoon?”
“Well someone’s in a rather good mood.” Teddy remarks, noting how buoyant he sounds.
“I’m talking to you, which always puts me in a good mood, even on the worst days.”
“I am glad I can be of service to you. Be careful though, I charge by the hour.” She advises him, unable to hide the laughter in her voice.
“Lucky I can afford you then.” He chuckles swinging his chair around.
“I actually called to see if you had any plans for dinner tonight? My father would like us to join him at the Rare Steakhouse in Little Collins Street tonight.”
“That sounds good to me. Will it be just us or is Scarlett joining us as well?”
“Scarlett won’t be, no. She has a date apparently with some guy she met at the gym around the corner from my place.”
“Did she tell you who he was?” He asks taking the ring out of his pocket and looking at it again, a smile dancing on his lips.
“Logan something. I can’t recall his last name. I wasn’t paying close enough attention actually, because I was busy with a little project for you…for Christmas.” Teddy tells him coyly.
“Can I get a little hint on this…project?” Ari quizzes, snapping the box closed.
“No, you can’t.” She informs him, chuckling, “it will ruin the surprise.” She says quietly, “so you’ll have to wait and see! And don’t pout about it either, cause it won’t work.”
Ari throws his head back and laughs heartily at her, “I’m starting to believe I’m dating my mother, it’s uncanny the resemblance between you two. And I wasn’t pouting. I can’t believe you thought I would be.”
“Well, normally you would be, and using it as a tactic to get me to give in.” Teddy laughs. “You forget how I know you so well.”
“That you do,” he agrees, leaning back in his chair, “and I’m incredibly thankful that you do.”
“Mm, you would be stuffed without me otherwise.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to get dressed in the morning without you.”
“Or undressed.” She purrs, exciting him. “I need to go and do some work. See you tonight. Love you, bye.” She giggles mirthlessly, hanging up.
Ari gapes staring incredulously at his phone, “she hung up! I can’t believe she hung up, the little wench!”
“Who hung up, sir?” Thomas asks entering Ari’s office, glancing curiously at him.
“Teddy! That’s who!” He says throwing his phone on the desk and pulls his chair in, hiding the bulge in his pants under the safety of his desk. “Don’t ask.” Ari quips glaring up at him.
“I wasn’t about too.” Thomas smirks, handing over the recent stack of messages.
“Good.” He nods trying to make himself comfortable, and cursing Teddy under his breath for leaving him hanging – literally.
Checking his appearance in the mirror of the walk-in-closet, Ari steps into the bedroom, stopping and staring at Teddy, a vision in her red tightly fitted, one shoulder cocktail dress. “Ooh, this is a case of deja vu.” He smirks, watching with avid interest as she hooks a pair of diamond drops through her lobes.
“Don’t get any ideas, Ari Jaeger!” Teddy advises, wagging a long finger at him. “I need to stay looking somewhat dignified tonight. I need to make an impression on the big boss.” She winks, her hazel eyes shining brightly.
Raising his brows, he moves behind her gliding both hands down her curves, “I can tell you right now, he is extremely impressed.” Ari crows kissing the back of her exposed neck.
“Can you please leave the gutter for a second and help me with this, please?” She asks handing him her necklace.
Ari growls taking the necklace from her and places it around her neck, clasping it together, his fingertips lightly grazing her skin, “there all done.” He breathes glancing back at her reflection in the mirror, his dark eyes hooded. “You are such a sexy and tantalising woman. I will be the envy of every person there with you on my arm.”
“You’re forgetting the jealous women who will despise me being on your arm.” Teddy mutters, “but I don’t care. If you wanted any of these other women, you would be with them and not me.”
“That’s right, and why would I want any other woman when I have the sexiest woman in all of Australia?” Ari says wrapping his arms around her waist.
“You seriously need your eyes testing, there are definitely other women who are way hotter than me!”
“No,” he disagrees shaking his head, “you are stunning, Teddy, exquisite even. If I had my way, I would cover you up from the neck down in a sack, just so other men can’t ogle you. But I’m not that controlling and besides, I wouldn’t be able to show you off the same either.” Ari says bending and pressing his lips to her bare shoulder.
“I was so right in what I said to you.” Teddy chuckles turning to face him, his cologne and body wash intoxicating her. Cupping his cheeks between her hands, she strokes his face feeling the sharpness of his designer stubble under her grazing fingertips.
“Which was?” Ari smiles, his brow arching above glinting eyes.
“You could charm the habit off a nun.”
“I only like taking off your pants.” He purrs grinning salaciously, before capturing her mouth with his.
“Are all you ladies ready?” Ari bellows down the hall, “we’re leaving in five minutes – with or without you!” He informs them all, looking at the time and becoming annoyed. “What is taking them all so long? We’re ready, why aren’t they?” Blowing out his cheeks, Ari heads back to the kitchen trying not to run his hands through his artfully styled hair in frustration. “What?” He asks a bemused Teddy, who’s busily pouring Moet champagne into long-stemmed flutes, trying not to spill it.
“Don’t forget your sister kindly did all of our hair for us, so be patient. The party won’t start without us.” Teddy reminds him handing a flute to him, “are you nervous about tonight?”
“No, I’ve done this several times now.” Ari assures her tugging at his bow tie and collar.
“True, but you didn’t have me by your side before until tonight. It will be fine, stop stressing.” She castigates putting her drink down and straightens his bow tie. “It will be a beautiful evening, one we will be remembering for many years to come.”
“You have no idea.” Ari mutters lifting his champagne to his lips, taking a sip.
“What was that, Ari?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t all you ladies look lovely?” Audrina cajoles embracing each of them, as they all walk up the stairs to The Dome’s entrance, their dresses hitched up to avoid tripping on the long skirts. Teddy was the only one out of the four of them wearing a knee length dress.
“Thanks mum.” Dominique replies twirling around in her light pink one shoulder chiffon dress, and flicks her long brunette curls draping around her shoulders.
Scarlett was also wearing a strapless dress, but in royal blue chiffon with embellishments across the sweetheart neckline and waistline. Her red hair was pulled into a side bun with curls with a few loose tendrils curling her thin face. “Is dad here yet, Ari?” She whispers out of earshot of Teddy.
“I think he’s inside already waiting for us.” Ari tells her patting his jacket pocket, ensuring his precious cargo was still there.
“What are you two whispering about?” Teddy queries, eyeing them suspiciously.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Scarlett retorts, heading up the steps.
“Hm, there’s a whole lot of nothing going on tonight.”
“No there’s not. It must be your vivid imagination.” Ari tells her smugly, “are you ready to go inside?” He asks quickly changing the subject. Becoming antsy and clasping Teddy’s hand in his, he drags her up the stairs anxious to get the evening moving.
“Okay.” Teddy agrees following him up the stairs and into the opulent function room of The Dome. She gapes scanning the majestic room, momentarily forgetting about Ari’s secrecy. Tilting her gaze skywards, she stares in awe at the elegant and historic barrel vaulted ceiling, beautifully restored to it’s former glory.
Her jaw still gaping, Teddy marvels at the granite columns between each archway surrounding the octagonal shaped room. A pair of elaborately massive wrought iron gates stand in the grand entrance, making a huge impression on her. “This place is…stunning, Ari.” She proclaims, her head still spinning around trying to take it all in.
“I knew you would love it.” His eyes gleaming, Ari observes Teddy’s delight in admiring one Melbourne’s original buildings. “They originally began building The Dome in 1890, but it wasn’t completed until 1990. That’s the run down anyway, but I’m sure with your research you could find out the nitty gritty of it all.” He chuckles, sliding his arm around her waist and leading her to their lavishly decorated table.
“Hey! Ari, it’s about time you arrived. I thought you were going to miss the party?” Asher beams waving a tumbler of bourbon in his face.
“What, and leave you lot to drink all my booze? Not a chance in hell my friend!” He laughs taking the offered bourbon. “Asher Bradford, I would like to introduce you to my gorgeous girlfriend, Teddy McGovern.”
“Hello, Asher, it’s a pleasure.” Teddy greets the statuesque man, Asher towering over her, even with high Louboutins on her feet and offers him her hand to shake.
“None of that hand shaking nonsense,” Asher bellows, his azure blue eyes sparkling, “give me a hug.” He pulls her into his muscular frame, almost crushing her with his arms, “if you ever get tired of this clown, give me a call.” He winks chuckling, a muscular arm draped over her shoulders.
“Enough of fondling my girl,” Ari grins, taking Teddy back into his arms, “and go and find your own to fondle.”
“Is there anyone here worth fondling?” Asher asks raising his blonde brows, “who’s the stunning brunette…?”
“Anyone here – but my sister.” Ari growls defensively.
“I was going to say the stunning brunette in the green strapless dress, she looks mighty fine.”
“That’s my room mate Poppy Fleming, who also happens to me best friend.” Teddy informs him going into protective mode.
“Oh,” Asher nods peering over and checking her out, “I see. Is she a nice person, you know like – nice, nice.”
“Speak english, Asher.” Ari utters raising a brow “and I don’t think Poppy would go for you, she is too nice for you.”
“I thought I was speaking your language my friend. And how do you know she wouldn’t go for a guy like me? I can’t believe you said that, I’m dreadfully wounded.” He laughs mocking Ari’s accent.
“Poppy isn’t the type of girl you normally go for, Asher.” Ari scowls unappreciatively and throwing his drink down, he grabs another off the passing waiter’s tray.
“Oh, you mean skanky and easy?” Teddy adds giggling, also taking a glass of champagne off the waiter’s tray.
“Ooh, you’re right, Ari, she does have a smart mouth. I like her already.” He says chortling. “Ow, what was that for?” He asks rubbing his arm, and frowns at Ari, his expression ominous.
“That was for repeating what I had told you. It wasn’t meant to leave your big fat mouth!” He growls.
“Ow! What was that for?” They both chime rubbing their arms.
“That was for you repeating what Ari had told you, and you,” Teddy admonishes glaring at a stunned Ari, “that was for even saying it to your mate with the big fat mouth!” Storming off, she leaves the two grown men behind sulking and to drown their sorrows by themselves.
“May I ask what that was about, Teddy?” Audrina asks, staring curiously over at her son and Asher sulking and still rubbing their arms.
“Oh, they were misbehaving, so I put them back in their place.” She informs her, grinning and sipping on her champagne.
“Oh, okay.” Audrina says shrugging her shoulders, “they probably deserved it then.” She giggles.
Hi Nicole! I’ve never written a romance scene where one of them is planning to propose, and it’s such a fun situation. And I never heard this before: “You could charm the habit off a nun.” I like that! 😀 Thanks for posting.
Thanks Bryn! I’ve had a lot of fun writing this book and I’m nearly at the end. But I am going to do a book 2 with these characters.
Interesting pieces. I love reading novels set in Australia, being bombarded with usually American ones lol. I did get a tad confused between the first part then the second part as I was expecting the scene of dinner with her father. Good reading, though. Thank you for sharing.
Sorry to confuse you. I just needed a reason for Teddy to call Ari to stir him up a little too. I’m just trying to incorporate some sort of normal life between the characters as a couple. If that makes sense?
Not a problem and yeah, totally understandable 🙂
Beautiful passage, Bryn! Love the tears illustrating how trapped he is, still unable to move, but now giving a visible sign to the waking world. Partial/gradual change! I haven’t posted any new stories since August, but I’m sharing tidbits on my blog for Warrior Dove and its companion story, Curran’s Heart. I’m nearer to posting chapters of each on AO3, now that I’ve figured out both stories probably need to include the villain’s point of view (content includes f-bombs):
He stood at the cliff’s edge, blood dripping from his hands.
The Theirins would pay. The Guerrins would pay. They would all fucking pay.
Not Cousland. Not yet. He needed Cousland’s granddaughter to claim the throne. The Teyrn of Gwaren and his heir were worthless without their dwarven protectors—no use seeking an alliance there.
“Run while you can, little princess. Your lives are mine.
“You will pay me tribute,” he promised. “With your blood.”
–
The above follows this action scene I shared from Warrior Dove in September: “The possessed hounds gained on them, driving Theo and Culver toward the cliffs . . .”
I’m also DAfan7711 on Tumblr, Pinterest, and Archive of Our Own (AO3), where guests and registered users alike can read my stories.
Too short a snippet! I want more lol. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, KC!
Hi DAfan! Love seeing a continuation of what you posted before. You have such a flair for fantasy. Thanks so much for reading mine, and for the kind words!
PS Sorry your comment went into moderation — I changed the settings so you can include 2 links 🙂
OMG Bryn!!!! You’re killing me!!! Hurry up and finish already, I want to read it!!! Seriously, that’s awesome!
Here’s a very rough version of a scene that takes close to the end of my book. Laura is in the woods near the cave of the bad guys. Several teams have been sent in to secure the cave, and rescue the missing children. Laura, being an empath, was asked by her superior to use her abilities to “keep watch” over the children, to make sure their emotions remain relatively stable, and to make sure none of them have been compromised to the point they would become a danger to themselves and their rescuers. This is what happens when she is monitoring their emotions:
Laura lost track of time, barely aware of what was going on directly around her. For a moment, she could see the children, like she was watching them from a distance. It was blurry, but she could see them crying, in a room, huddled together. There was a boy standing, facing her. The vision disappeared and reappeared many times. Every time it reappeared, it was more clear than the last. The boy became crystal clear. The others remained huddled on the middle of the floor crying. Older children were trying to comfort the younger ones. The little boy smiled at her. He looked not much older than 7 or 8. She moved towards him. He walked towards her.
They stood face to face for a moment. He smiled again.
“What is your name?” He asked.
“Laura, what is yours?” She asked
“Tomas,” He paused for a moment. “I could feel you searching for us, wanting to keep care of us, so I brought you here,” he said. “Are the men with guns outside going to save us?” He asked.
Laura was surprised, but she knew that some people did have the ability to project others consciousness’ towards them. She nodded. He smiled.
“They are coming to save us!” He turned his head to the group. “The people, outside, they are going to save us!” The other children quieted their cries.
“Laura.” Murphy interrupted. “Tell me what you see.”
Again, she was slightly surprised that Murphy knew what was happening, he had so many secrets.
“All the children are in a small room, huddled together. It is deep inside the cave.”
“Are you talking to your boss?” The little boy asked.
Laura nodded.
“We are not all here. Only the ones they couldn’t break are here.”
“They are not all there,” Laura repeated to Murphy. “Where are the others?” She asked the little boy.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. We were being punished for disobedience, they wouldn’t let us eat. We were put apart from each other. But then the twins came, and they said people were coming, so they put us all in here. I can’t find the others. I haven’t seen them, I can’t find them.” He looked distressed. “My cousin was with the others.”
“It’s ok, we will find them,” Laura said.
He shook his head. “Don’t lie, you don’t know that. The bad people broke them, turned them into not themselves anymore. They are gone. You can’t save them.” He shook his head sadly.
“I’m sorry,” Laura said. “I want to help.”
“You can’t feel them either. They are gone.” He said. He looked towards the door. “Someone is coming!” He turned away from her, breaking the connection.
Laura was suddenly thrust back into the forest. Murphy was watching her.
“You said they weren’t all there, where are the others?” He asked.
Oh, a nice bit of mystery ther. I want o know what happened to the others as well. Thank you for sharing.
Sara you’re so nice! Thanks for the encouragement – I appreciate it so much!
I love stories about empaths! Actually I’ve only read, like, one, but I love the idea. This has such a great sense of the paranormal. My heart really went out to Tomas. Thank you for sharing!
I enjoyed this, I definitely want to know more!
I like the way you are keeping track of your word count. I can see how that would be helpful if you are working on multiple projects! Good job lady!
Yeah, it does keep me motivated. Thanks, Becky! 🙂
Hi Bryn!
I really like the excerpt you posted, it’s so emotional!
Last month I’ve finished my first draft of Fantasy’s Tales: A One-way Gate. It’s a little over 90.000 words. Now I’m taking a break from writing and I’m concentrating more on other things. The scene I’ll share this month is a one of the last things I’ve written. It’s about Morgan, Iris, Helene and Kirsten on the evening before the end battle starts.
‘What will Odette do after the battle, if we win?’
‘She’ll magic you back to your family with your sword and all the stuff you’ve made here. If we don’t win… then we’ll have to see what our enemies do.’
Iris had finished her milk. ‘So we don’t get some kind of reward, after we’ve won?’
‘You’ll probably get another speech.’ Helene said. Her stool cracked when she shifted her weight.
Kirsten put down her bowl and poked a bit into the fire with the butt of her spear. ‘Not another one of those…’ she said. The flames flickered up higher, lighting up her already beautiful hair in a warm red.
Morgan sighed. She’d probably never stop admiring Kirsten. ‘Could you imagine, Kirsten?’ she said and cleared her throat for her best impression of Odette. ‘Most honored will be Kirsten Hirschenstein, from the castle of Greenfield. Most honored of spear-fighters.’
Kirsten put her hands into the air, making an “I yield” gesture. ‘Please Morgan. Come on. I’m not that good.’
‘That was two months ago.’ Helene said.
‘Two months ago I was really bad. Now I’m a little better, but by far not as good as you, or Morgan.’ Kirsten argued. ‘You’ve seen that in… my first and only battle.’
Morgan pulled the blanket tighter around her body and quickly took another sip of milk.
Helene sighed. ‘Which was in the beginning of the two months you spend here.’
‘I just want to say: I’m not that good and I definitely don’t want a speech from Odette.’ Kirsten gave up. ‘If it hadn’t been for Morgan’s admiration, say, if she’d hit my face instead of the top of my old helmet she’d have crushed my temples,’ she said and tapped the sides of her head.
Morgan felt like she had to say something. ‘So you’re saying that if we’d never met during band auditions, I would never have admired you and I would have killed you in the battle. And if I’d been sitting in this dorm at all now, you’d probably glower at me from the corner.’
‘See? Morgan gets it.’ Kirsten said.
I have enjoyed the excerpts you have shared from this story. Thank you for sharing.
Kiete, CONGRATULATIONS on finishing the first draft! 90K is a great length for fantasy. I enjoy Morgan and Kristen’s relationship. <3 Thanks for posting! And thanks so much for the compliment, too 🙂
Short Story – A Matter of Honor or Honor Among Heroes – using newly acquired software Aeon Timeline and trying to understand how it syncs with Scrivener – About to work with my editor on A Head in the Game – my first mystery novel – working with 3 other authors in editing their novels (erotica, Western, Military Thriller)
Hii Jack! I never heard of Aeon Timeline… if it’s a tool to keep your timeline straight in a novel, I can see how that would be really helpful. Congratulations on your first mystery novel! And wow, sounds like you’re really busy!
Bryn – thanks – yes, very busy! So far, Aeon Timeline is a great tool in organizing events. It’s limited in writing actual draft, but syncs up well with Scrivener. I expect it will be a permanent component of my tool kit. (Until I find something better – LOL) 🙂
Oh, lovely, Bryn! Seriously, I can’t wait to read this book!!
Doing NaNo myself, and don’t have anything I feel comfortable sharing just yet…ask me in December, LOL!
Aww, thank you, Jennifer! That’s awesome that you’re doing NaNo. I hope it goes great! And absolutely, I hope you share next month!
Yes, I’ll definitely share something next month! Too much to think about right now. Thanks for that little bit of escape–and a nice break from my own writing!
Are your word counters widgets?
Hi, Brickley! Yep, it’s a plugin for wordpress.org. 🙂 There are other ones out there, though — take a look 🙂